


It's not over yet

by typographicalmisfit



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typographicalmisfit/pseuds/typographicalmisfit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Victory–it is one word that is almost synonymous to my name. Not that I ask for it, rather it is expected from me. As the Commander of Trigedakru and the Keeper of the Coalition between the twelve clans, I have the responsibility to guard the peace by ensuring that the alliance last. It can only be attained by making wise and brave decisions that will eventually lead into victory. </p><p>Even if it means defeat for myself."</p><p>Post season 2 canon with varying POV.</p><p>11.7.2016 : DISCONTINUED. My sincerest apologies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt for both The 100 fandom and Clexa ship. Here's my take on what's gonna happen in season 3. Alternative title would be, "This is what Clexa did to me." 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything but my love for Clexa (and all the mistakes).
> 
> A/N: DISCONTINUED. My sincerest apologies. (7.11.2016)

Clarke  
  
I was born in space. I’ve never felt the sun on my face or breathed real air or floated in the water. None of us have. For three generations, the Ark has kept what's left of the human race alive, but now our home has landed back on Earth. And as it turned out, we are not the only survivors in this world.  
  
After the fall of the Mountain, where 47 of my friends were held captured, the Sky people returned back home to the Ark to bury the dead, to tend the injured, to feed the living, to build a life, to survive the Earth. They held their head high as they stood above defeat, cheering as the dark cloud of smoke covered the mountain that once ruled the lands with their selfish attempt at survival.   
  
And I, as the de facto leader of my people, mourned in victory.   
  
Since we were expedited from the sky, I learned there is one rule that governs all life on Earth: kill or be killed. Everyone is out for their own, fighting for food, for shelter, for survival. There is barely comfort. There is rarely love. To the eyes of the grounders, we were foreigners who fell down from the sky to invade their lands. To the mountain people, we were the cure they need to escape Mount Weather that was both their home and prison.   
  
I had to prove them both wrong.   
  
We came in peace, yet blood were shed, countless of lives were sacrificed. The destruction of Tondc and the blood of hundreds who died along with it, the annihilation of the mountain people, and the death of the person I loved--all of it were in my hands, and they are bound to haunt me for the rest of my life.  
  
When they opened the gate back into the Ark, when almost everyone were inside, when safety is finally at hand, I had to bid my goodbye. It was a sentence that I forced upon myself in order to forgive and forget. The decisions I made and their consequences, they were all inevitable. I know I had to be strong. But I need time. And space from everyone, even from myself.   
  
I had to go.  
  
So, I did.  
  
I was born in space. I’ve never felt the sun on my face or breathed real air or floated in the water. But that was in the past. My name is Clarke, and Earth is now my home.

* * *

I walk the path I have never traveled before, avoiding everything that was familiar to me. I want not to be reminded of the past. I seek forgiveness in time, and time alone can help me attain it.  
  
The beauty of nature that was foreign to my eyes overwhelmed me. The flora and fauna that I once seen only on the screens of the Ark were obviously not justified by the images. They had to be seen, heard, smelled, and felt. They had to be experience. And through their cradle I shall start my journey for inner peace.  
  
As I traverse the woodlands, I meet a couple of birds, a deer and a creature that is larger than a boar. A bison, maybe. I walk for more than a couple of hours and fortunately, hunger has yet to find its way to me. I don't need to kill any of these animals, yet–that's what I am thankful. For all I know, I am one with them right now. Trudging through the forest as a lone creature who seeks not for a home rather a shelter within herself.   
  
_Snap_.  
  
My head instinctively turn to the source of the sound and I find another deer a couple of meters away to my left. It seems utterly normal if not for three extra ears on its head. At least it isn't bloody like the first one I– _we_ –saw before. Thoughts of my friends flood in. Octavia, Monty, Jasper, Finn...  
  
I rest against a huge tree and sigh with hands on my face. I mentally slapped myself. No, I refuse to think about the past. I am strong and I will to forget about them.  
  
_Get it together, Clarke_.   
  
As soon as I composed myself, I search for the five-eared deer I saw earlier. My eyes wander around yet there are no signs of the radiation-streaked creature. There is a clearing ahead but I know better than to open myself for any and every attack. I brought down a whole mountain. I'm sure as hell can survive on my own.  
  
Taking a few more steps, I finally find my four-legged companion. The deer hop from a huge trunk of a tree to another. This creature is lucky it cannot feel any heartache. Ignorance is bliss, indeed. At some point, I envy it.   
  
Without any warning, an arrow shot through the air and pierce the deer straight to its chest. It instantly drops dead, and I fall back. I crawl behind a tree and scan the area where the arrow comes from.   
  
Perhaps, I am wrong to envy it after all.  
  
A couple of seconds later, a man approaches the deer. I hold my breath as I watch him closely. He has a jet black animal skin for clothing unlike the shades of brown used by the tree people. It looks rather familiar, but something else catches my attention. He is limping. His right foot is heavily covered. Still, the man draws near his prey with confidence. There is no quiver on his back, no spare arrow either. His bow hangs around his arm across his chest. Surely, he isn't expecting an attack sometime soon. 

The man kneels before the dead deer, closes his eyes as his hands lay on top of its heart. It might be a ritual of some sort. If so, it's something I haven't seen done by the tree people. Before he lifts the creature, the man examined it and suddenly glances toward my direction.   
  
_He glances toward my direction_.  
  
Gasping, I hide against the tree. I take the only dagger I brought with me when I left the camp. He is not that huge. I bet I could take him out if I try my best. I hold my breath as I wait for any signs of offense from the man. I am ready to counter him at all cost.   
  
But nothing came.  
  
I turn to the other side of the tree and glance to where the man was. It is a ridiculous act, I know. Of course he will no longer be there. At best, he is ready to attack from a distance, or from above, or right behind me at this very second. My assumptions are all wrong, however. The man is walking, limping his way to where the arrow was shot, with the deer on his shoulders.   
  
Now, I have to question myself. Was I wrong? Did he not glance at my direction? Did he really fail to see me? Was I seeing things now?  
  
I shake my head in disbelief. Maybe I am going crazy. Nevertheless, I decide to follow the man from a distance. If he has to catch a deer that big, I bet he has a tribe to bring it home to, or a family at least. As for the reason why I must stalk the guy, I have no idea. I am following my instinct and at this point, I don't see why I shouldn't.  
  
A makeshift hut leaning against the biggest tree near the clearing is the man's destination. There is a bonfire in front of it. It seems funny how small the hut is. Perhaps he is alone, or it could be a mere stop over. Well. If I want answers, I have to watch him for some time. Then, I'll decide if he is a plausible enemy.   
  
Not too bad for an amateur nomad, Clarke.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep while I am on watch because when I opened my eyes, the morning sun shines across the sky. Then I remember why I fell asleep on such hard, uneven terrain. The man. Quickly, I glance at the hut and luckily finds the man sitting outside. He seems to be attending to his injured foot. While my inner doctor wants to check if there is anything I could do with his right foot, my inner gluttonous Clarke protests. I am starving. And there is no way I am approaching the stranger and trade my skills for his food until I figure him out.   
  
So, I venture back to where I was before I saw him. A small pond in the middle of the forest serves as an oasis for me. A deer is drinking on the other side of it. If I manage to make it there without running, or brushing through the bushes too loud, or stepping on a twig, or breathing, then I might have a chance for a hearty brunch.  
  
Truly, stealth is one thing I lack. Lexa once made fun of–  
  
I take deep breath It's as if something strike my chest at the thought of her. The Commander of the Tree people and the Keeper of the Coalition between the twelve clans: _Lexa_. I know our relationship was purely diplomatic after what transpired inside her tent the day she almost had Octavia killed. My emotions got the best of me and I pushed her to the limits. I knew she felt for those people who were dear to her. She even admitted that she cares for me. For me. A thought a quickly brushed off as soon as I heard. I might have broken through the walls of the great Commander of the land, and I declined her right then and there. No wonder she had those thick walls built. No one ever stays. Not for the leaders. Not for the reasons they seek.   
  
My nonexistent prayer is answered by a low rummaging in the bush near me. I retrieve my dagger and prepare for an attack. But it is unnecessary for a small gray rabbit appears out of the grass. Its tiny black nose sniff around the area, possibly smelling the foreign scent that is mine. In space, there were no pets. We barely had enough oxygen to support more than one child per family. It is unfortunate for those who didn't make it back on Earth. There is so much in life than just breathing.   
  
The rabbit hops its way to the rock a few meters away from me. Then I remember why I went here in the first place. I have to face a sad reality: I have to kill if I want to eat. Mustering enough courage to feed myself, I crouch and slowly come closer to my poor furry prey. I hold the dagger firmly in my right hand.   
  
_The living are hungry_.  
  
As I am ready to launch an attack, something else grabs the rabbit with its mouth. It's a four legged creature that looks similar to the panther we once killed, only smaller and it has a different color and patches. It is surprising, of course. I somehow feel lucky that it did not attack me instead. But that only fuels my hunger.   
  
"Oh, come on!" I yell in frustration. The creature stops on its track, drops the rabbit and turns to my direction. It stares at me with its piercing yellow eyes, and I return the favor.   
  
It's on.  
  
I take a step closer to the creature. It displays its fangs as a sign of aggression. Its claws are ready to strike at any moment. Just come at me already. Truth be told, one must be careful what one wish for. On cue, the creature lunges and I double over to my left to avoid it. Recovering fast, it charges again and it catches my right arm. Its teeth pierces through my jacket and into my skin. Its claws scratching everything within its reach. "Fuck!" Not noticing the dagger falling off my hand, I try to shake the creature off but it wouldn't budge. Blood is dripping from my arm. _This isn't good_. I pick up the dagger with my left hand and plunge it on the creature's chest in time before it fully pins me down. Hurt, the creature steps away, seemingly howling in pain. Heart racing, I put pressure on my arm to lessen the bleeding. In a matter of seconds, the creature stops moving. So, I am triumphant against a middle-sized land creature with the use of dagger. Should I be proud?  
  
After having the meal I have been longing for since yesterday, I walk toward my dead companion I left near the pond. He, too, was hungry. But in a battle between predators, he lost and that cost him his life.   
  
"I would have shared the food with you if you didn't attack me, you know." I whisper to the lifeless creature. A bitter smile crept on my face. Even if it did not, there is no way for us to understand each other. Suddenly, I have the urge to come near its lifeless body. "I'm sorry it had to end that way."   
  
_The dead are gone._  
  
A tear falls down from my eye. Countless of deaths flash in my mind. The amenable grounders in Tondc who were willing to die for their commander, and the mountain people who are only as powerful as electricity could take them. Their lives could have been spared. _I_ could have spared them. Not everyone had to die. Those innocent children... No, they were anything but innocent. The Mountain Men had been bleeding grounders for generations and that gives those children an inherent fault against everyone outside their metal doors. I have to believe that or I might break down whenever I remember that day.  
  
Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face. After composing myself, I bury the creature and return to my previous business.

* * *

Nothing pretty much changed during my two-day surveillance. The man has the same routine–chop woods in the morning, hunt until the sun almost set down, dinner and bedtime. Opposed to my assumptions, there was nobody with him. Not even visitors. He is alone in the middle of the forest, as I do.   
  
Out of curiosity, I decide to take a peak inside his hut while he is away to hunt. As stealthily as possible, I approach his domain and pull the hard fabric that serves as its door. To my surprise, the hut is empty. Not even a sheet of fabric lies on the ground to serve as a mattress or something.   
  
My heart skips a beat. It can't be good.  
  
Before I could turn, I feel a blade pressing against my jugular. Shit, he got me.  
  
" _No se mweva_." [Don't move.] The guy whispers. I am not an expert of _Trigedasleng_ , but since what he said do not make any sense, I assume it isn't one. " _Ke deseyas_?" [What do you want?] I could feel the blade pressing deeper. " _Abla!_ " [Speak!]  
  
Swallowing hard, I try to say something. "I don't understand a thing you said... but I mean no harm." The man does not respond to my words so I try again. " _Ai laik nou baga!_ " [I am no enemy!]   
  
That does the trick since he put his spear down. I turn around to face him. As I do, he backs off a bit, throws the spear to the ground and sits down on a rock near his bonfire pit. A bow still hangs around his chest, a knife on his boot. I must stay on guard.  
  
I watch him as he slowly remove the bandage off his right leg. His sudden lost of interest in me is curious. Did he not regard me as a threat? And why is his damn hut empty? Confusion hits me, but I couldn't ask him a question, not yet. Not when he has his almost black, seemingly burned right foot at my sight.   
  
" _Chit ste em_?" [What is it?] I attempt to communicate with him despite my limited Trigedasleng vocabulary.   
  
The man shakes his head. "I am sick."   
  
My brows crease and my lips let a sigh escape upon hearing his reply. So, he do understand English!   
  
"Can I take a look?"   
  
"No," He set his foot down. "...there is nothing you can do, sky person."  
  
And he is aware of where I came from. It's too fishy. "How did you–"  
  
"I have been watching you." He said. As if I haven't got enough surprise for the day. "You were not that hard to notice."   
  
"So, you did see me the day you shot that deer!" He nods.   
  
Apparently, he has been watching me– _us_ –since the day we landed on Earth. The Tree people and the Mountain Men were not the only ones aware and curious about us. We even drew grounders from different clans. This guy has his eyes lock on us until we destroyed Mount Weather. Perhaps everyone want that mountain destroyed for good. "I watch you walk down from the mountain." He look straight into my eyes. "You burn them down. You defeat it." There is something in his eyes that sort of lifts my spirit. It's as if he is looking up at me, thanking me for what I did. For the first time since that day, I sort of feel proud. 

I tell the man it had to be done in order to get my friends back, among other things.  
  
"You made peace with the Commander." I notice how his eyes look at me and turn away as soon as he mention Lexa. "Not just anyone can do such thing."  
  
I shake my head. "Well, it's not like it lasted anyway."  
  
"The Commander is wise. She will do anything for her people. That is what makes her a great leader." I couldn't hold back a grunt. "Do not think differently of her, sky person. I did mention that you made peace with the Commander."   
  
"I know. I heard you the first time. But like I said–"  
  
"No, you don't understand!" He speaks in a louder voice, but low enough not to qualify as a yell. "You made peace with her. _Tu a eycho la pas el koman!_ " He says repeatedly as if I haven't grasp the very essence of what he is saying. "You, _komo a ti mismo nou komo un heda de suu skai puweblo_." [You, as a person not as a leader of your people.] He continues. With his foreign tongue, I doubt I ever will.   
  
When he finally realize that our conversation is not going anywhere, the man huffs and wraps a bandage back around his foot. " _ii pense ke la skai hente es intele_." [and I thought sky people are smart.]  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry I don't understand your language, okay?" I offer to help him, but he refuses.   
  
"You should be glad. You are showered by luck, sky person."   
  
I swear, this man can only speak in a cryptic manner. As soon as his foot is set, he stands up and grabs his spear. He makes his way out of the area.  
  
"Hey, where are you going?" I ask.  
  
He eyes me sharply. "I will not sit here and make a fool of myself with an empty stomach."

* * *

Truly, an environment can influence a person. Had I grew up on Earth, I'm guessing I will be half as good as the grounder I am with right now. He moves as if he is one with nature despite his right foot's incapacity. I try to keep up but whenever I come near him, he turns to my direction and shot me a piercing look. Well, I get the idea. I am too loud for his preys. I did meet a couple of possible meals during my journey, you know. I guess I still have a lot to learn about Earth.  
  
"You never told me your name." We walk back to his hut after catching a panther. Silence answers me. "I am–"  
  
The man points his knife to my chest to hush me. "Do not speak of your name." He scans the area before he moves closer. "The trees have ears."  
  
He acts as if we are not alone in the forest. That sends goosebumps to my body. The man has better senses that I do. I wonder what else he is not telling me. We both take a couple of steps before his voice erupts again.  
  
"I know who you are, sky person. Even among my people, you are now a legend."   
  
As it turns out, the news of the mountain's fall spread faster than I anticipated. Everyone are now aware of what the sky people have done, and what else we might be capable of. They have high regard on us. And after what happened between the grounders and my people however, they are afraid that whoever defeated Mount Weather might just be the one to replace them. Simply put, they see us as a threat. Heaven knows we are not ready for another war. Should it happen, I doubt if we can survive again.  
  
"I do not mean to cause you anxiety, sky person. As I have said a hundred times before, you made peace with the Commander. That is more than enough reason to put your mind at ease."  
  
"How can it? She betrayed my people. She betrayed me."  
  
"Yes, you! You finally acknowledged it. You see, nobody expected for you to survive the mountain. No one did. For years, we were enslaved by the power that they possess. We were all dubious that you will get out of there alive. But the sky people did, and that was because of you. You made peace with the Commander in time of war. Your survival is more than enough reason for her to seek you out."   
  
"Seek me out?" I notice how his expression changes. Like a space walker who realized he is running out of oxygen, the man steps back and keeps himself from saying anything further. "What do you mean 'seek me out'?"  
  
But he no longer explain.   
  
"I have to go back. If my people are in danger, I need to be with them."  
  
"They are not in danger, sky person. I thought I just established that."  
  
"How can you tell? Why do you know so much?" Anxiety gets the best of me. I pull my dagger out and presses it against his neck. "Who are you?" 

* * *

The man in the woods–that's what his people refer to him. A man who defeated a _pauna_ , was celebrated as a hero and later banished because he refuse to slash his own mother who committed a crime. Not everyone on the ground are lucky to survive. Due to high radiation exposure, some are born with defects and their people see them as a stain in their makeshift society. His sister was one of them. His mother resented the idea of sending her daughter alone in the woods, and she was punished for disobeying their chief. They couldn't banish their healer, so they thought one slash per person were enough to send a message.   
  
The Coastal Tribe, known to the Tree people as _Kostgeda_. They live far south of Tondc, even farther than the Boat people of the East lead by a chieftain named Luna. Their language, _Paneyo_ , is way different from _Trigedasleng_. They do understand English though–everyone does. It is a tactic they use against the Mountain Men, to listen carefully and speak differently. The _Kostales_ , or the Coastal people, are quite similar to the _Trikru_. The only difference is what they fill their stomach with. As years pass, travelers from the south ventured up, leaving the southernmost part of the land and bringing along thousands of spices that were only seen in their previous grounds. Southerners joined the Coastal Tribe and together they owned the land of _Ornia_.  
  
"I'm still waiting for your name, man of the woods."   
  
The man looks up at the sky, seemingly contemplating. "Enko. I was once called as Enko. It has been too long since anyone ever called me by that name, so much that I, myself, forgot about it."   
  
"I'm sorry about that."  
  
"Don't be. Now, listen," He lifts his jet black overdress and hands it over to me. "You need to take this. My people will recognize it as soon as–"  
  
"Wait, your people? What do you mean?"  
  
"At some point, you will meet them, sky person. And believe me when I say they don't take foreigners lightly. This will be your protection." I still have questions in mind, but I accept the cloth. "That cape is made of _mono_ 's [ _pauna_ ] skin. Having that only means one thing: you defeated the man in the woods, the man who killed the _mono_. I was exiled by my people. Nevertheless, I was well respected prior to the incident that lead to my banishment. They have high regard to those who can do extraordinary things, sky person. Wear it and you will earn respect from them."   
  
"Why do I need to do this? You said so yourself, even among your people, I am a legend. Why do I need to hide behind an exiled man's cape?"   
  
A smirk flashes on Enko's face. "...because you abandoned your people to hide from yourself, did you not, sky person?"

* * *

To have a sibling is not only rare back in the Ark–it is prohibited. There was a rule that only one child is allow per family. I can only imagine how special Octavia is for Bellamy. Her existence is a miracle and their relationship is perhaps the most special among everyone in the Ark. Hearing about Enko's story reminds me of them. I will never understand it. Little by little, however, I am starting to get the idea. It's really simple and can be described in one word: _family_.   
  
As for myself, my friends became my family. The Coastal person is right about one thing, I abandoned them. Technically, I am not the leader of the Ark. In that sense, I believe I deserve to be selfish at some point. I have the right to choose myself. I wonder how Lexa truly see herself. Gifted? Cursed? She had been leading her people at such young age. Was Costia the only decision she made for herself?   
  
"Are you listening?" My thoughts are interrupted by Enko's cold voice. I stare at him blankly, completely unaware of whatever he just said. "You need to kill me before you go."  
  
"What? No! I'm not doing that." Panic run through me. Another death. Another blood on my hands. "I can't.." I stand up and start to walk away from him.   
  
"I am sick, sky person. If you don't kill me, my illness will."  
  
"Then let it be!"  
  
"My blood is poisoned. Soon both of my feet, my legs, will be useless. The curse will move up slowly until it consumes me completely. I will lay helpless on the ground alive. The animals will fight over my body, and I will be a witness to that until one of them eventually end my life." Tears stream down his face. It is unusual to see a man cry, but their tears meant even greater pain when they show it. "To kill oneself is the greatest dishonor a man can ever have. Please do not let me do it."   
  
While most people beg for their lives to be spared, this man is imploring me to end it. I know I did it before with Atom, and I saved Finn from such fate. Maybe dying isn't so bad as people thought it is. For a tormented soul, it is gift. Just this once, I think I am ready not to think less of myself by granting a dying man's wish.   
  
Before sunrise, he says, the ritual should be done, and I, on the other hand, should be on my way. Honestly, I am scared. I haven't realized how frightening it is to wander alone. I was too occupied by my thoughts that I actually forgot about myself, where I will go, who I will meet, what I would do. But there is so much in this world, a great deal of surprises lie beyond the horizon. I am barely taking my first few steps into discovering what the people of the Ark had been missing all along.  
  
Enko rubs the panther meat with a pinch of something from a small jar in his belt bag. I watch him closely as he does the same to the rest before he roasts it by the bonfire. As the smoke from the burning meat reaches my senses, my stomach responds. It smells foreign to me, mouthwateringly foreign.   
  
"It smells so good."  
  
He barely glances at me as he respond. "Spices from my land."   
  
From his pocket, he retrieves a small jar and tosses it over to my direction. Seeds, more seeds, chilies, more chilies and something that looks like cinnamon. I am about to open it but Enko stops me midway. "Save your sense." He says. Curious, the _Kostales_ are.  
  
I was right. Whatever he put in the meat made it taste so much better.   
  
And spicy.   
  
More spicy.  
  
Too spicy.  
  
Fuck.   
  
Next thing I know, my mouth feels like burning. "H-hot!"  
  
Instead of sympathizing with me, my companion is sniggering. No, he is laughing, actually. I may tear up any moment now.  
  
"You got my cut." He points at the meat I am holding. "This one is yours. I put less seasoning on it."   
  
Hastily, I pick up a small container of water and pour as much liquid as I could. "You're saying that... just now?! My... mouth is... in flames!" I say in between gulps.  
  
"Calm down, sky person. It won't go away that easy. You'll just waste water."   
  
I ignore him and continue soothing my battered taste buds instead. I am too busy to even notice him leave. When I finally calm down, my eyes dart toward the meat that he mentioned was supposed to be mine. Out of hunger, I decide to try it once more. If I am not starving, this thing could rot for all I care.   
  
Moments later, Enko return with a container in his hands. He extends his arm and offer me the drink.   
  
I eye him skeptically. "What is it this time?"  
  
"Milk. Cure for your burning tongue."  
  
I smell the container and that confirms his words. For someone who barely knows me, this man is too kind.   
  
"Thanks." I whisper.  
  
"Save it 'til after you're done eating. You don't want food this good to spoil."  
  
I merely shrug. Then I realize that it would be his last meal. He is sharing a taste of his home in the middle of nowhere with a complete stranger and he doesn't mind. He must have lived quite a life out here alone. When I ask him why his hut is empty, he has one answer: it's a trap. It is built to trick any passerby, and only the foolish will fall for it. To save my bruised ego, Enko said he meant for me to believe that he lives there. He says my arrival is timely, and that only amplifies his belief that I am more than just some girl who fell from the sky.   
  
_You're born for this._  
  
A familiar voice sounds inside my head. _Just like me_. I refuse to think that I am anything but someone like the Commander. She leads with insurmountable wisdom and perhaps an infinite amount of courage. They believe that her spirit is one and the same. For generations, she lives and dies, and finds another vessel to continue serving her people. She is born for it. I don't think I can ever live that way. But Enko is right. I fell from the sky. Everything changed since then. Maybe, just maybe, I was born for something more. 

* * *

As the dawn approaches, Enko leads the way to his burial site. Apparently, he has everything already prepared: a grave near a cliff overlooking a vast river that runs down toward his village, surrounded by beautiful flowers of the coming spring. I can barely see anything. He had the whole scene explained to me through his memory.   
  
"Are you sure about this?" I had to ask.   
  
"Yes."   
  
The sound of crickets echoes throughout the place. Enko chooses to lay down beside the pit so it would be easy for me afterwards. A pain shot through my chest. I know it is harder to save a life than to take one. But to take it to save the person? It would be my third, and I still have yet to get the hang of it. Perhaps, I never will.  
  
A thought comes into my mind. "Wait, what if I take you to the ark? My mother is a doctor. We have resources and equipments that your village do not. We may be able to cure you!"   
  
"Do not falter now, sky person."  
  
"No, you don't understand. We brought reapers back. If we can cure you, then you'll have a better chance at life."  
  
His head moved from left to right. "I have lived, and now I wish to die. Please, sky person. Grant me my wish."  
  
My eyes moistens. We stare at each other for a moment before I nod in defeat. He hands me his knife, gives mine a bit of squeeze, and lay down near the pit. I kneel before him. A soft smile curves on his lips.  
  
"Tell me, sky person, are the stars as beautiful as they look from here?"   
  
I never thought about the idea until he asks. The stars. I look up and realize how they shine beautifully from afar. Up in space, you could see a vast pile of rock, in what appears to be flames, speeding toward a certain direction. Sometimes Earth. But that's it. They basically look just the same.  
  
"In a matter of perspective, yes. They are just a huge pile of rocks, really. From a distance, however, they emit something that makes them shimmer. Makes them look beautiful. Makes them extraordinary."  
  
"Thank you." His voice breaking. "It is... my honor to die in you h-hands, Clarke of the Sky People."   
  
I turn down on him as I pull his knife off his neck. I couldn't help the tears from my eyes.   
  
" _Yu gonplei ste odon_." I whisper as he closes his eyes, blood rushing from the wound inflicted by his own knife. By me.   
  
His smile widens. He takes his last breathe and mouth the words, " _Pas, por fin_." [Peace, at last.]

* * *

**Lexa**  
  
Victory.   
  
It is one word that is almost synonymous to my name. Not that I ask for it, rather it is expected from me. As the Commander of Trigeda and the Keeper of the Coalition between the twelve clans, I have the responsibility to guard the peace by ensuring that the alliance last. It can only be attained by making wise and brave decisions that will eventually lead into victory.   
  
Even if it means defeat for myself. 

_Hodnes laik kwelnes_ [Love is weakness]

Clarke once called me a liar. And she had every right to do so. Everything she said about Gustus, and Costia, and those two hundred and fifty people who died in Tondc, they were all true. I felt for them. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself not to feel anything, it is utterly impossible, for even if my spirit is immortal, I am a human. All the lives we have lost in all the wars we have been through, I grieved for them. I mourned for each innocent soul sacrificed in the name of victory. The pain of a thousand deaths stabs my heart and breaks it whenever I stop for a moment and feel. Each soul takes a part of it, and I'm afraid there might be too little of it left. Not enough to be taken once I hear of Clarke's death.  
  
Costia paid the price for my loving someone. What the Queen of Azgeda did to her broke me for quite a time. The hard part? I was not allowed to mourn for it. Not in front of my constituents, or my people, or even alone. Not yet. We do not mourn the dead until the war is over. Nevertheless, the excruciating pain was always present, tugging my heart at every occasion. I saw her face everywhere. Even in waking moments, I experienced nightmare.   
  
But the Commander had to be strong for she had a war to win.  
  
And I did.  
  
I won by losing love.   
  
I did it once, and I am frightened that I might have done it again.

* * *

We are what we are  
  
Wishing upon a starlight has been a custom passed from generations to another. It is a practice that merely accentuates a hopeful soul and nothing more. A leader cannot simply place the fate of her people in the hands of a falling star. That has been my belief since the war that wiped the face of the planet. So, when a star fell from the sky that one night, I did not ask for victories or any grandeurs. I thought of something simple, something personal for I have no faith that it will make any difference.   
  
_"_ Stop me from wishing _."_ I whispered to the air.  
  
The morning after, my scouts brought the news of a ship that fell from the sky. The very second I heard it, my heart skipped a beat. Something happened inside of me. I was anxious. In a sense, it was as if my spirit wanted to leap out of my body, like I was supposed to be somewhere else. As usual, I shrugged the idea and ordered some of my men to spy instead. Soon, I was hearing about people from the sky, and their weapons that were similar to the ones used by mountain men. Fearing an attack from the so called sky people, I let three hundred of my warriors, lead by my mentor Anya, to deal with the invaders and attack while they were still vulnerable. I could not risk my people. One indestructible mountain was more than enough.   
  
As I was away from Tondc and the location of the first sky ship, fate brought two of the sky people to me. One of them claims to offer peace with us while the other merely seeks the city of light for his own selfish reasons. I must admit, one of them, Kane if I was not mistaken, had an admirable devotion to his people. I, however, knew better than to make a deal with those newfound invaders.   
  
War was all I could offer.   
  
I gathered a good number of my troops to join the battle between _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_. Battling our new enemies seemed more like sailing uncharted waters. But they lack in number, and that was one of our advantages. We were prepared to launch an attack by first light, yet I did not ordered it. Inexplicably, I was waiting for something–that much was unusual for as a leader, I am ruthless. I do not wait, instead I ambush. Later I understood that short unbecoming of me. A sky person approached our camp and everything changed after that.

* * *

_Hodnes laik uf_ [Love is strength]   
  
Seeing someone for the first time no longer cause me any surprise. No matter what they look like, or where they come from, or why they need to meet me, I had the same reaction toward the person: resent. I have lived long enough in this life to meet everyone I needed to. All the rest were not worth my time. Then she entered–battle marks all over her clothes, scars on her skin. Her golden locks were a mess yet she walked with grace. She was probably unaware of it, but I surely was not. It was the first time we met, indeed. For me, however, a stranger, she was anything but.  
  
Her name was Clarke of the Sky People.  
  
As the days passed, I did not notice how I was spending quite an amount of time with the sky person. Slowly and inconspicuously, I was letting her in–or it was more like, I was letting myself out. The point was, I grew fonder of the sky person each day and it was not just her beauty, or her skin. It was the way she lead her people, the way she made decisions. Clarke and I were similar yet totally distinct from one another. Unlike me, she lead with her heart, with passion enough to push herself beyond her limits. Her pure heart was her weapon, and same was bound to break my own.  
  
In our society, comfort is a privilege. And even as the Commander, it would not come to me too easy. Being with Clarke, however, set my mind at ease. There was, to myself, an irrational contentment seeing her around me, hearing her blurts, seeing her worried, feeling her anxiety. As long as she was within my grounds, I could give her security. For the first time in what seemed to be an eternity, I was granting myself a momentary bliss.  
  
I understood her when she declined me. I remembered how I indirectly forced her to kill the person she loved not too long ago to lift the morale of my people. That, in fact, was the spark of my revolution against myself. I took things lightly against Clarke, protected her and regarded her as my equal. I knew the possibilities yet I allowed things to happen.   
  
She was truly my beautiful disaster.   
  
Never have I expected to hear from the mountain people, more so to received an offer from them. The mountain that enslaved thousands of my people, created monsters out of them and turn them against their own; the mountain that used and killed humans for their own perpetuity; the mountain that was gifted with knowledge and power beyond everyone outside their metal doors. After almost a hundred of years, they offered to free all of my people, end the abductions for good. The _Trikru_ can walk out of the mountain unharmed. We do not fear death, rather we face it like an old friend. My warriors would rather die than turn away like cowards.   
  
But I am the Commander.   
  
I have the responsibility to make decisions that are for the best interest of my people. I am willing to sacrifice a few to save hundreds of lives. That is how a Commander of twelve clans should think. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. For that, I had to carry the burden of leaving the other half of my soul to die in the hands of the monsters that we feared for so long. Such act will mark the end of the nightmares for everyone else.   
  
And the start of my own.

* * *

" _Mounin houm, heda!_ " [Welcome back, Commander!]  
  
The people of Tondc cheer upon seeing us. Their brothers and sisters now embrace freedom for good. There is no guarantee that the mountain will cease taking lives. One thing is certain though: they will no longer feed from my people. I will not allow it. After today, I am more than ready to end the war with the mountain. In due time, once my freed warriors recover, we will prepare for the battle of our lives.   
  
While most of my people celebrate as they tend to their brothers and sisters, I choose to stay inside, hidden from the festivity that they currently enjoy. For now, the war is over. I can finally face grief, the ones we have lost– _the one I have lost_.   
  
" _Heda_ ," Indra, the chief of Tondc, whispers from beside my throne.   
  
It is not atypical for one of my best and most trusted constituent to join me in my solace. It is curious nonetheless. Perhaps, inside she is grieving for the lost of her newfound second. The promise that Octavia had shown is miraculous for someone who was born in space and locked up in a cage for all her life. We may have truly lost just a few, and I'm afraid they are the most remarkable.   
  
" _Chit ste em_ , Indra?" [What is it, Indra?]   
  
The warrior swallows whatever it is she wants to say. "Nothing, Heda. Forgive me."   
  
"If you would like to join the celebration, then do so. I do not wish to keep you from it."   
  
Indra shakes her head as she stares blankly into oblivion. I know my people better than to be fooled by lies. My chief is keeping a secret but I trust it is not something I have to worry about. I stand from the throne and walk toward my makeshift chiffonier.   
  
"Leave anyway. I would like to have some for myself." The warrior nod once without turning to my direction and heads to the exit.   
  
Alone, at last.  
  
No, I am no longer used to being alone. In the past few days, I have... _had_ Clarke with me. In this very room, we talked, we planned, we fought, we made peace. Perhaps, the connection that we had, even if it came mostly from my part, was short-lived so the pain would not be as tremendous as it should be. That's where fate is wrong. The pain is already overwhelming, and it is currently devouring what little I have left inside of me.   
  
I am dying.   
  
Upon the falling star, I wished to stop wishing. When I met Clarke, I knew the star did not fail me. For Clarke was the star. She was the answer to my wish. And her existence alone was enough reason for me to stop wishing. I finally met the one my spirit longed for all these years. She was hiding up beyond the sky, far into space, away from my grasp.   
  
And now she is gone because of me.  
  
I lift my head to keep the tears from falling. What have I done? It has never happen to me before. Meeting my spirit's other half and losing it even before we unite. I can never forgive myself for this. Love is not weakness, it is strength, and I am coward for turning away from it. I am strong and now I am broken. I can lead my people, but now there is nothing left for me. Nothing to look forward to. The day I have been anticipating had long gone. The fault is not in the stars, it is entirely my own. And I will live with it for the rest of my life.  
  
" _Heda! Heda!_ " A voice outside is trying to reach my room. I could hear one of my guards and Indra halting the young warrior. I need to be alone. There is, however, no longer an I. Now, this life is for my people.  
  
" _Teik em ge_." [Let him pass.] I order.   
  
A young, battle scarred warrior hurries down the stairs and into the room. Indra and two more of my guards follow him. He is panting heavily. He must have been traveling.  
  
" _Shish op_." [Speak.]  
  
" _Maun-de_ ," [The Mountain,] He starts. The chief of Tondc catches my eye. "... _don slip daun. Maungedakru ste daun_." [...have fallen. The mountain men are dead.]   
  
It takes me quite some time before I fully perceive what the warrior is trying to say. My eyes dart from the news bearer to Indra who, herself, is baffled by the revelation. If the mountain is defeated, then it means...   
  
" _Chit hashta skaikru_?" [What about the sky people?] I ask. I swallow subtly as I walk closer to him, trying to hide any emotion that could burst any moment.  
  
" _Emo laik gyon au gon ark_. [They are going back to the ark.] Most of them are wounded, but they managed to get out of there alive."  
  
My eyes pass Indra's and settle away, into some still figure on the other side of the room. " _Mochof, gona. Yu beda glong osir kru op nau_." [Thank you, warrior. You should join our people now.]  
  
The warrior complies and leaves the room without another word. I turn away from my companions to hide the tears that fall from my eyes. My chest heaves heavily as I try to comprehend the situation. The outcome is contradictory to what I expected.   
  
The mountain had fallen.   
  
The sky people succeeded.   
  
More importantly, Clarke is not dead.  
  
Hopefully.  
  
What am I thinking? I left her there with absolutely certainty that she will die trying. I underestimated the sky people. I underestimated Clarke.   
  
I feared that I might never see her again in this life.   
  
Now, I am frightened that I might.  
  
A couple of footsteps fade out of the room. Without looking I know only Indra is left with me. I bow my head down as I try to calm myself. While I revel in their triumph, I must prepare myself for the consequence of my decision.   
  
I face Indra after I collect myself, only to see the tears at the verge of falling from the chief's eyes. She is staring at the floor with her jaw clenched.   
  
"Indra," If I am strong, they, too, shall be. "Is there anything you wish to say to me?"  
  
A deep breath and my constituent speaks. "The Reapers, _Heda_. Nyko said they have little time left before we could lose them entirely."  
  
The realization hits me. The alliance of the sky and tree people was grounded on the recovery of the our warriors turned into Reapers by the mountain men. Without the knowledge and equipment of the sky people, we are completely helpless.  
  
"How many are they?"   
  
"We have captured a total of eleven, _Heda_."  
  
A sigh escapes my lips. "How many prisoners were released?"  
  
Stiffly, Indra faces me. The chief knows where the conversation is leading to. We have been through the same road before. Countless of times, in fact.   
  
"About two hundred."  
  
Rescuing two hundred and losing eleven. In the past, it would be a fair bargain with fate. So long as we can gain more than we lost, it is victory. That is our way. For a mindful leader, that suffices.  
  
"It is still victory, is it not?" She nods slightly. My companion stands firmly in attention, accepting the end of our conversation.  
  
I do not doubt her courage. It is apparent in everything that she does. Although she do not falter, in her eyes, I notice something familiar. For years of my leadership, I have seen thousands of faces. What I have in front of me is not a chief nor warrior, rather a person who longs for someone so dearly.

* * *

Due to the reconstruction of Tondc, there are small amount of resources left for the feast. Nevertheless, the _Trikru_ celebrates the occasion even in littlest ways. As I roam around the village, I see people feeding mouths and healing wounds. They have never ending gratitude for the Commander that dealt for their safe home coming and death sentence for the sky people.   
  
But Tondc is a small village. Even in the middle of festivity, everyone could hear the cries of the Reapers. They ignore the pain that are evident in every scream as I do. Instinctively, I head over to the direction of the bunk where Nyko keeps the Reapers. On time, the healer leaves the bunk and meets me outside.   
  
"How are they doing?" I inquire.  
  
The experienced healer avoids my eyes for a second before he answers. "Barely alive, _Heda_. I lost Peta once but I was able to bring him back from the dead the way..." A short pause. "...the sky person did. I'm afraid I cannot bring him back should it happen again. Not without the their equipment."   
  
Should it happen to the sky people, Clarke will do anything to save them. Despite their number. Despite the obstacles. Despite their position. Every life matters.   
  
"Please, _Heda_ , call it." I shot him a questioning look. "Order for their deaths. That is the only way I know."  
  
Our warriors are at home, yet I have to order all of them dead. Their families will think it is enough that they can bury their deaths in our grounds. I am certain of that. The lost of their lives are long accepted. But what if I give them life? What if I try to extend all measures possible? Should I go beyond my comfort zone, refute my wit and reach out? What would Clarke do?  
  
" _Beja, Heda_."[Please, Commander.]  
  
I close my eyes before I give a command. "Return to them, Nyko." He nods in defeat and slowly turns to the door. Before he disappears, I call him out. "Keep them alive for as long as you can. Help will come."  
  
He stops at the threshold in acknowledgment of my instruction.   
  
I hope I am doing the right thing.  
  
"Bring me my horse." I say to the warrior behind me.   
  
Perhaps, it is not the wisest decision I will make. It may somehow seem unbecoming of me. Nevertheless, I stand by words for there is one person that serves as an inspiration to it, someone I taught and learned from.   
  
As a black stallion approaches, Indra comes rushing to my direction. "We need to bring warriors, _Heda_."  
  
"Me, Indra, not we." I lazily look at her. "You need to stay with your people."   
  
She shakes her head. "It is not safe to go there. The sky people could be furious. They are low in numbers and they lack training, but they defeated the Mountain Men. To walk into their lair alone is–"  
  
"I made my decision." I cut her off, giving her my shof-op look. "Besides, I will not be alone. Ryder and Tahli will join me. And prepare eleven messengers, Indra. By the time I arrive, I need them to tell the other clans of our negotiation's outcome as soon as possible."  
  
The warriors nod and step up into their horses. I lift my head high before I set out. I need them to understand that I know what I am doing. My fear lies not in dealing with the sky people, rather seeing a particular person who probably has cursed me to the ends of the world. 

* * *

Our journey so far is quiet. For once, we travel without fear from the monsters of the mountain. There is an eerie silence of solemnity that is rare in our lands. So, this is what peace is like. Or should I say, almost peace. By now, all clans have heard the news of the mountain's fall. It is uncertain how they will make sense of it. I am hoping they do not take it the wrong way or the Coalition that I established; the Coalition that cost thousands of lives; the Coalition that took decades to be achieved, will be shaken or worse, will dissolve into nothing.  
  
On our way to the Ark, we pass the first drop ship where I was a witness to Lincoln's return from death. I knew I could trust Clarke. I saw it in her spirit the first time I laid eyes on her. It is a shame I never trusted her to survive.   
  
We stop at the sound approaching. Tahli aims his bow while Ryder gets off his horse, his sword at hand, to check the woods ahead of us. Abruptly, Lincoln appears from a distant tree with his weapons aiming at the taller warrior.  
  
"Ryder?" He turns to my direction, mouth partly open in apparent surprise. " _Heda_."  
  
I motion for Ryder to withdraw his weapon and he oblige. The former _Trikru_ warrior does the same.  
  
"You are going to the Ark."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Lincoln shakes his head as he glances at the far woods. "It's not safe yet." He warns. My two warrior companions look at each other, uncomfortable of the revelation. "The sky people are–"  
  
"Lincoln!" A familiar voice echoes from the woods. Moments later, Octavia emerges from the same direction where Lincoln appeared. Judging by her look, and her firm grip on her sword, she is obviously not impressed by our– _my_ –presence.   
  
"What is she doing here?" She walks over to Lincoln. "What are you doing here?!" She looks straight into my eyes when she yells. Ryder draws his weapon and Tahli aims his bow at that very second.   
  
" _Hod op. Hon yu gon daun we_." [Wait. Take your weapons away.]   
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I wish to speak with your leader, _Okteivia kom skaikru_."   
  
She grits her teeth. "You have no business here."   
  
"Octavia..." Lincoln speaks as he restrains the young warrior.  
  
"No! She ordered a retreat while my brother is still stuck inside the mountain, trying to set her warriors free! How dare you come here after sentencing us to death!"   
  
Lincoln pulls Octavia away. "Hear them out, at least."   
  
"You want to talk? Then go talk to the Chancellor, if you get there alive." The young warrior leaves as soon as she finish her rant. Of course, the sky people are furious. I can only imagine what they must be feeling. "Oh, and one more thing, Clarke is not here. She's gone."  
  
_She's gone_.  
  
The words echo inside my head. A sudden feeling of emptiness hits me. Clarke is gone. It must be a mistake. She cannot be gone. She is supposed to be mad at me, not gone. I open my mouth to take air in. It is too much. Clarke cannot be gone.  
  
As soon as Octavia is out of sight, Lincoln speaks.   
  
"Clarke left the moment we arrived here. Nobody knows where she is."  
  
I release the breath I did not know I was holding, as if an imaginary sword was pulled out of my chest. The former tree person glances at me before he runs after the young warrior. I find it curious why they felt the need to tell me about Clarke. Am I that obvious? Perhaps not. They assume I would be looking for her since she is the sky person I regard as their leader, an equal and nothing more.  
  
"Let us continue."

Ryder hops on his horse and follows us while Tahli takes point as he leads the way into the Ark. I could the latter's reluctance although he shows no signs of it. Ryder, on the other hand, was Clarke's guard for a time. He knew her– _us_ –better than most.   
  
I catch up with him a bit. " _Mela op_. [Heads up] You have nothing to fear from the sky people."  
  
Tahli nods and maneuvers his horse, gaining pace. This is the courage I need to see from my people. It lifts my spirit, even if I know for certain what lies ahead of us.   
  
When the Ark is finally within reach, we slow down and I take the lead. "I will enter their village alone. Both of you should stay from a distance."   
  
"It is not safe, _Heda_." One of the warriors insists.  
  
"No, of course it is not, Tahli." I get off the stallion and gaze into the Ark. "Do not draw your weapons."

* * *

I notice how the sky people starts to panic in my presence. As I walk closer, more guards man their gates, their weapons aiming at me. Slurs come from all direction. Animosity is evident in their faces. I wonder if Clarke hates me just as much, or even more. Probably more. There was something in her eyes that night. Those unspoken tears, they pleaded to my spirit. 

It takes several minutes before they open the gate. As they do, Abby awaits behind it. She has a crutch on her right arm, her right leg is injured. Nevertheless, her face contorts into her most frightening–a mother who lost her child.   
  
"You have the nerve to come here." She starts. Sky people gather near the place. Familiar faces like Kane and Bellamy stands behind their chancellor. "What do you want?" She yells.   
  
"I have come to make you an offer, Abby of the Sky People."  
  
"It's Chancellor." Her tone is full of authority. I forgot that in the eyes of the sky people, she is their leader. Clarke was only in command for the past war. "...and you have nothing that we desire."  
  
Kane looks down, seemingly uncomfortable of the conversation. Others continue to badmouth my people– _me_ –on the background.  
  
With confidence, I respond to her. "You are in my land."  
  
"How dare you–"  
  
"Abby," Kane interrupts. "Please, why don't we take this talk inside?" He continues, gesturing toward the Ark.  
  
The Chancellor eyes me sharply, seemingly battling with herself before she agrees with the man. I knew this would happen. The sky people will probably loathe me but they are smart. Besides, they have not seen the best of me–or worst for that matter.

* * *

I have never been inside the sky people's abode. I knew they have technology similar to the mountain men. What I did not expect is that they might actually have had better up in space. They managed to survive almost a century living in a ship– _this ship_. I wonder what else humans used to have.  
  
"After you, _Heda_." Kane welcomes me inside a room where Abby already awaits.  
  
It feels strange meeting the sky people without Clarke. I still regard her as their leader even if her presence is nowhere. If it wasn't for her, things might have progressed in another way. I wouldn't say it would have ended differently. It's just... Clarke is different. She represents the sky people with her heart. She is the sky people. She is everything.  
  
My brief pondering is interrupted by the voice of one angry chancellor. Apparently, she and Kane are having a hushed argument while I float away with my thoughts.

_Nice move, Lexa. By all means, have your head in the clouds while standing alone in the middle of enemy territory where everyone is most likely plotting the finest method to end your life_.  
  
I compose myself, pretending to be fully aware of my surroundings.  
  
"She did not just deceived our people, Kane. She betrayed Clarke! I thought we had our best chances because the two of them were working together. And she just–"  
  
"The Reapers," It is my turn to interrupt the Chancellor. The words from her lips, of a hurting mother, are too accurate to ignore. "...our people," I correct myself. "...soon their lives will meet the same fate as their fallen brothers whom our healers failed to revive all these years."  
  
The chancellor's expression softens to some degree. I know she is keeping her alpha stature. Nevertheless, she is still a healer. Saving lives is only natural for her.   
  
"I'm afraid their lives is on your hands, Commander. If you did not betrayed us in the first place, we would have saved them. But you picked your selfish interest over–" Kane places his hand on the woman's shoulder. Clearly, the chancellor is becoming quite emotional. I know that face. She worries about her daughter.   
  
"Tell me, chancellor, would you not choose the same for your people? To save yours and spare them from further bloodshed? To be able to walk back home unharmed?"  
  
Her expression changes. "Of course I would have," Her gaze turns to away from us. "But Clarke will definitely not. She would think of you, of your people, of everyone." The room becomes silent for a moment. "She would have been a better leader than me, than you, than any of us! But she put her trust on the wrong people, and now she is gone because of the burdens that she carried to save her friends, her family. It's all too much for a child!"  
  
"I agree. Clarke is born to be a leader. But I no longer see her as a child. She outgre–"  
  
"Don't you dare speak of my daughter!" Abby aims to move closer but her injury stops her midway. Kane comes to her rescue.   
  
I understand her lament. It is only natural for a mother to feel the need to protect her child, to take as much pain as they could just to give them comfort, just to give them life. I cannot fight with a mother's sorrow. It is the greatest grief of all.  
  
But Clarke is not dead. She wanders away only to forget the pain. As a born leader, I believe she will come back in time. There is no reason to grieve.  
  
"Then let me finish my proposal instead." I walk closer to the two sky people. "You can have this land including a mile long radius, bordering Tondc, free of fear from my people. In exchange, you will heal the Reapers."  
  
Kane purses his lips while the other squints in boiling disagreement. "I worry that as the victor over the mountain men, the Coalition might see you as a new threat. I cannot promise you peace with the rest of the eleven clans, but you can expect no aggression from your nearest neighbor. That should be enough for your people to heal and build your lives down here on Earth."  
  
"Wait, are you saying that the eleven clans will attack us?" Distressed, the man asks.   
  
"I said no such thing. Given the current basic law of the lands, however, it is likely–only if they see you as a threat. I do not intend to cause you panic. But leader to leader, I believe you should be aware of the possibilities."  
  
"...and if we refuse your offer?" The chancellor challenges. It is not an option, I would like to say to her. I need to be careful with my words though. They are aggravated enough. I have to think of something that the chancellor cannot resist.  
  
"I can find Clarke. I–my people know these lands far better than any sky person. I can make sure that she is safe until her return, should she wish for it. But that's... only if you agree."  
  
Lie.  
  
I would personally do it even if the sky people disagree. I will find Clarke to the ends of the world if that's what it would take to see her again in this life. I know I hit the right spot when the chancellor's face softens.   
  
"I can give you time to decide, Chancellor. I do hope you can make up your mind before the Reapers take their last breath."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have read quite a number of awesome Clexa fics and I applaud each and everyone who took time (and still continues) to write them. You guys saved me after 2x15 (and 2x16, fine). The 100 universe is, in my opinion, greatly created and I am too enchanted by it to read any AU fanfics. Also, my ship is canon so I see no reason to read those-no offense to all AU clexa writers out there. Just for this ship, I am sticking with the series' plot.
> 
> The Coastal Tribe (Kostgeda) and the Coastal People (Kostales) are all made up, obviously. I thought they would be situated somewhere in California (Hence, Ornia). Their language, Paneyo-if you haven't noticed yet-is actually Spanish (from Es-panyo-l). I thought it would make sense since many from the East uses it (correct me if I am wrong, I am not from US).
> 
> Also, I am aware that my Trigedasleng is not perfect. I am still learning the language.


	2. Chapter 2

Ninety seven years ago, a nuclear war between world powers started the end of the world, setting high radiation all throughout that could instantly kill anyone. The apocalypse forced humans to resort to extreme measures in order to maintain perpetuity. To save what was left of the human race, twelve stations floated out to space and escape the crumbling planet that was Earth. Apart, the twelve stations were likely to survive for several years. Together, they established the Ark.

The Ark floated in space thinking that it would take a hundred of years before humans can endure the changes their ancestors caused on Earth. After ninety seven years, they sent one hundred delinquents down to be punished, only to realize that the damned would be the ones to live.

The beginning of the end marked the start of new life–without land or water, without sunlight or storms, without trees or flowers, without buildings or cars, without autumn or spring–basically it was all about breathing and staying alive. Down on Earth, the people of the Ark discovered what they had been missing all those years.

They were missing life.

* * *

"Reyes," Jackson mutters as he check Raven's wounds. As one of the key players in war against the mountain men, the young mechanic suffered perhaps the worse, next to death. Slashes, explosions, and crazy people with medical tools–name it, she had it. Nevertheless, she survived. A fighter never surrenders.

"Hey, watch it!" Raven exclaims as the man pointed a pen against her foot.

"Just checking your reflexes." He says.

"Yeah, my reflexes are fine. Can I go back to sleep now?"

Jackson lifts both of his hands in surrender as he tend to the patient next to Raven. Two minutes later, Wick enters the room with his eyebrows creasing.

"Why won't those damn doors close faster? And what's up with that noise?" She ask no one in particular.

The blond swiftly pecks a kiss unto the mechanic's forehead. "Hello to you, too."

Although she could hardly see anything from her bed, the ruckus outside puzzles her. The look on her boyfriend's face only infuriates her curiosity.

"What's happening?" She asks.

Wick gives her a fake confused look. "What's what?"

"Outside, Kyle. What's going on?"

The engineer considers not telling the brunette about the Commander of the grounder's visit. He knows what it might do to Raven, or what Raven might do about it. "Nothing, just go back to sleep. You need to rest." Truly, the ravenous look the mechanic shot to her boyfriend is frightening for it bulges the engineer too easy. He leans in closer to the brunette and mutters in hush tones. "Okay, I will tell you, but I need you to not freak out. Promise?" He asks as if the ravenous look is not good enough. "The grounders' commander was here."

"Wha–" Raven starts to exclaim, gaining the attention of everyone else inside the medic room. "–ouch! That's my wound, Wick! You're pressing on my cut!" She recovers.

Smart enough to understand the situation, the engineer lifts his hands. "Sorry, sorry. It was a good cut, I couldn't help it." He glances around, hand scratching the back on his head. "All good, nothing to worry about." He turn back to his girlfriend, giving her a what-the-hell look.

"I told you no freaking out."

"Look at me, Wick. Tell me, do I not have the right to freak out?" The engineer sighs. "What did she want? Don't tell me they have a freaking horde outside again? Fucking grounders."

"No, it seems she was offering a deal or something. The Chancellor has yet to tell us anything. The council is still deliberating."

"You mean, Abby and Kane."

Wick nods.

"She can't be thinking about it. After what they did to us in Mount Weather, there's no way I'm trusting any grounder again."

* * *

"You need to think about it, Abby. We can't afford a war too soon. Many of us are still wounded. Our people–we–need time to recover from the war, to strengthen ourselves, to build something so–"

"So the grounders can destroy it after?" Abby cut the councilor. As much as she desires a peaceful life on Earth, she doesn't trust the grounders living on it before they arrived. Their savage methods for survival are too far from their customs. Or that's what she wants to believe.

Kane presses his palms together. "I get it. Clarke is not here and you're mad, at everything. But like what you said, you would have done the same thing that Lexa did." The Chancellor cringes at the mention of the young Commander's name. "She's just doing what's best for her people."

"What about our people, Marcus? An army of grounders, of able warriors left us in Mount Weather to die. In their eyes, we are expendable. Even if we agree, I don't think our people will ever trust them again."

"They don't need to trust them, Abby. They only need to trust you."

She looks up, her eyes moistening. "Clarke trusted Lexa. And where is my daughter now?"

Silence.

Abby is not a fan of the grounders, that is a fact. If it wasn't for her daughter's persistent appeal to keep the alliance with them, the sky people might have been in war with the grounders a long time ago. The Chancellor collects herself and takes a deep breathe. Confidence is oozing from where she stands. At that point, she seems to make up her mind.

"I need to see Raven."

Panic runs through Kane's face. He follows the woman as she struts out of the room.

"Abby, please."

"They think we are at their mercy." She reason.

"No, their Reapers are at our mercy. Without us, they will die."

That earns a laugh from the Chancellor. "I'm sure they can handle the deaths of what, ten? Twenty Reapers? It will be another day in Tondc." She glances at the councilor curiously as they both walk toward the clinic. "I don't understand why you trust these people so much. After what they did to us, you still defend their commander."

"I'm just trying to see reason. Lexa is smart, Abby. It is true that they can continue living despite a few more deaths on their side. But don't you see? Why would she ask for it? Maybe they don't need us. Maybe we need them."

They both halt as they reach the door.

"Not anymore."

* * *

Homeless.

That was how Octavia regarded herself. She lost her trust on the Commander after what happened in Tondc. She barely trusted Clarke after then. The turn of events at Mount Weather, however, changed the way she see things. There was no doubt the young Griffin wanted to save their friends. Hell, she even killed a whole community just for them, and even Octavia was glad that it was done.

Kill or be killed.

"Octavia." Lincoln catches up after the young warrior run into the woods. They volunteered to gather herbs and other medicinal plants to help the clinic which is currently running low on supplies.

Sulking, she skips a rock into the river where a vast monster once attacked her.

"I'm sorry."

Lincoln stands beside her. "You don't have to apologize."

"I can never be a leader." Octavia confesses. "I don't have the heart to let some die so others can live."

"No, you are a warrior." He pulls her hand into his own. "Ironically, with too much heart."

The truth is, she understood the decisions made by the leaders. It is the bitter reality that she could not accept. She was caged all her life yet she is willing to share Earth with others. Everyone wants to live in peace. Why can't humans co-exist? Why must they kill one another instead of helping each other?

"We must head back. Your people need these medicines." Lincoln says, gesturing toward the herbs on his bag.

Octavia nods.

* * *

"How are they doing?" Abby asks Jackson who is almost done checking the rest of the patients inside the clinic. He is aware of their recent visitor, and knowing the chancellor, her demeanor indicates they have a serious situation.

The apprentice doctor glances over all patients.

"They're getting better."

"You're doing great, Jackson." She nods in acknowledgement.

Abby's eyes turn to the young mechanic who is looking back at her direction. The moment their sights cross, Raven's expression changes as if she already know what will transpire next.

Kane whispers behind the chancellor. "Think about it, please."

They both approach the young mechanic's bed. Wick stands up and gives way to the councillors.

"Abby," She says, pretending to act polite. "Can I help you?"

"Raven, Engr. Wick," She starts. "I, uh..." Hesitation is written all over her face. "I need to know if we could use the facilities in Mount Weather."

The revelation surprise all three of her companions.

"Abby, you can't seriously–"

"I need to know." She cuts Kane. Her voice is not breaking, yet her eyes are telling a whole different story. Still astounded, the young mechanic opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. "Raven."

She glances over Wick who seems to be contemplating on the inquiry. "It's... possible." She finally speaks.

"We are not ready for a war." The councilor insists, pleading to the chancellor who firmly holds the young mechanic's gaze. "Raven, don't push her."

"If we could rebuild the turbines and get the power back on, we can use everything they had." Raven reveals.

They both turn to the engineer for affirmation. Not too long after, Wick nods. "It will take time, considering the damage. But if we could find the right equipment and materials in their supplies, it can be done."

"And we can use everything?"

"Everything."

After hearing the confirmation, Abby takes a deep breathe and turns away from them. It is not an easy decision to make. The grounders regarded Clarke to be the leader instead of her. Although the sky people believed otherwise, they still had high regard of her daughter. She lead them in war and brought them all home. But that was a different time. On this day onwards, Abby is charge. And she is not to be fooled by the grounders again, ever.

Despite seeing the finality of the chancellor's decision, Kane appeals to her for the last time.

"Don't do this, Abby. Not now, please."

She ignores her constituent and orders her apprentice. "Jackson, set-up a team. Prepare medical kits, and make sure to bring a portable defibrillator." She eyes the councilor who is baffles as she speak. "We have Reapers to heal." Jackson obliges without question. The chancellor turns back to the young mechanic. "As soon as you get better, report to me, both of you."

The two nods in agreement as the chancellor starts to move away. "Oh, and one more thing. Not a word to anyone–and I mean anyone, am I clear?" Her eyes shot straight through Raven.

"Crystal," Wick blurts. "...Chancellor."

* * *

"I don't understand. If you're taking the deal, then why think about Mount Weather?" Kane inquires as they leave the clinic.

"I'll only do it to buy ourselves some time until we can fix Mount Weather."

Kane steps in front of Abby, stopping her on her tracks. "If they see us meddling with those equipments, it will only aggravate them, even all the rest of the eleven clans, and we'll end up as targets for sure!"

"We are targets, Marcus. That's the reality. No matter what treaty we make with these savages, to them we are invaders. We are different. Once they run out of reasons to keep us alive, they will attack us. And when they do, we will be ready."

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster–that, perhaps, was one of the most meaningful apriorism of the past century; one that is discordant to the current living situation on Earth. Abby understands it now. The lives of the human race on Earth are founded on sacrifice, and deaths, and heroes turned monsters so they can be called heroes.

Abby moves past the councilor and meets Sgt. Miller at the end of the hallway.

"Chancellor." The soldier salutes.

"Sgt. Miller, take another guard with you. We're leaving for Tondc as soon as the medical team is ready."

The soldier glances at Kane before responding to the chancellor. "Yes, ma'am."

The two members of the council stays silent for a moment as they stand behind the main door of the Ark. Before them are their people, continuing their duties with smiles on their faces. They achieved victory. They are alive.

"I have to do this, Marcus. I can't let our people down, you know that."

The councilor gaze outside. "I know."

* * *

"Where have you been?" Bellamy asks upon seeing Octavia and Lincoln enter the camp.

"We collected some herbal medicines for the clinic." It is Lincoln who responds.

The younger Blake scans the area, seemingly looking for something. "Where's the Commander?"

"She left almost an hour ago." He answers with his brows creasing. "How did you know she was here?"

She tells him about their short encounter earlier by the drop ship. Octavia has lost trust with the Commander ever since the war. She loathes the leader for her decision to leave her brother behind. She could not blame Indra, for she is loyal to the Commander the same way Octavia is to her brother. One for our own, she thought.

"So, what was it about?" The younger Blake asks.

"The Reapers. They want them healed, in return they will officially give us this land." He explains.

"Sounds a lot like bullshit to me." She turns to Lincoln. "No offense."

The warrior shakes his head. "The Commander keeps her word. Unless there is a better offer."

Before any of them could give further remarks, the Chancellor calls out all their attention.

"Bellamy Blake,"

"Chancellor."

Abby stares at the two Blake for a good couple of seconds before she continue. "I want you to report to councilor Kane. You will be briefed as a new member of the guards." She smiles. "You are a hero, Bellamy. I don't why we shouldn't make it official."

While the chancellor is giving instructions to her brother, Octavia is eyeing the rest of the team which will leave for Tondc.

"You're leaving." She blurts.

The Chancellor raises an eyebrow as she turns to the younger Blake. "Yes."

As much as Octavia would like to argue, Abby is not Clarke. Her words would be as good as an opinion and nothing more. The adults have taken over command. It's a fact. But that doesn't mean it has to be her reality.

"Let me join you." She speaks in a decisive tone. "I know them. I can help."

The chancellor's expression changes. Something about her reaction speaks beyond amazement.

"Very well." She agrees.

* * *

Finally, the gate opens and the team lead by Abby starts to head out. Lincoln joins the team after having a small argument with Octavia. He is a fugitive, yes. His people will most likely call him  _natrona_  or a traitor. But the Chancellor assures that under her command, the warrior will be safe. Besides, he is a healer, and he knows the tree people's language–Abby knows it.

On their way to Tondc, the sky people march with medical kits in their back packs, and uncertainty in their hearts–or Octavia, at least. Nobody questions the decisions made by the Chancellor. The young Blake, however, could not stop herself from wondering.

"Something is bothering you." Lincoln whispers as he walk beside Octavia.

The young warrior glance around to make sure nobody can hear them before responding to the healer. "I think there is more to it." She starts. "She won't take another deal with the Commander after what happened in the mountain. She only agreed because of Clarke. Without her, I don't think it's possible. They are not telling us everything."

The two trail behind the rest of the team. The sun shines above–noon, it is. Abby yells, telling them to keep up in order to make it at Tondc in time.

"Maybe you're right." Confused, Octavia looks at him. "We won't mind deaths. It would be enough that we can burn our deads in our land. The Commander will not stoop low just to save a few."

"Are you saying that it's unusual? That both leaders are acting unlike themselves?"

Lincoln returns the look. "I think they are acting exactly like themselves."

The young warrior shakes her head in disagreement. "You just said it is unusual for the Commander."

"Only because the Commander rarely picks herself above all else."

"What part of going into the enemy's lair and offering a deal is about the Commander?"

It is the healer's turn to shake his head. "She didn't come all the way to the camp for the deal," They both stop walking. It was not obvious, yet everyone back there noticed how life was drained out of the Commander's eyes the moment she heard that Clarke was gone. Lincoln telling her that the young leader is still alive and merely went away restored her breathing. That, alone, is enough confirmatipn for the former Trikru healer.

"...I think she was there for Clarke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I like writing in first person POV, neither Clarke nor Lexa are in these scenes, and I cannot simply take these off the story. Also, I decided that the length of each chapters will vary.
> 
> A big love to my girlfriend for being a patient sounding board~!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll run away with your foot steps  
> I'll build a city that dreams for two  
> And if you lose yourself  
> I will find you"

**Lexa**  
  
Due to its close proximity to Mount Weather, Tondc was most affected by the mountain's activities. For so many years, it suffered deaths and forced disappearances. Almost everyone, including its chief herself, lost a loved one at some point. The most painful, perhaps, was seeing them alive and living as another–a creature that only follows their instincts based on one necessity: the need for red.  
  
In recent discoveries, we learned that the mountain men were creating the Reapers through the Cerberus Project in which humans are given high doses of drugs, turning them into cannibals. Driven by their need for the red-colored drug, the Reapers obey mountain men's order to bring more grounders for them. Savagery it was; torture for their families. The Trigedakru tried and failed to bring them back into men.   
  
Death was the only cure.  
  
Until people fell from the sky.

* * *

The journey back home seems longer than it should. We keep a slower pace in case any of the sky people runs after us to deliver their response. I also want to stop thinking for a moment and let the course take my mind off things. There are no words spoken, only the sound of horses' marching on our way back rings in my ears.   
  
Of course, I fail.  
  
During the times that we were together, I noticed how Clarke would worry about things that she had no control of. In fact, she worried about everything. As a leader, the sky person would want to save and protect everyone, even spare the lives of some of those who terrorized us. And she wanted to do all of those things not because of what title she may earn after. Her intentions were truly unsullied, and she values each and every life no matter how dreadful one may have lived. With those in mind, I understand why Clarke decided to leave. I have no first-hand knowledge of what happened after we left Mount Weather, but I feel that she is the one who made all the hard choices so her people can survive.

A born leader, she truly is.

To lead, however, means to take responsibilities. One must carry burdens so their people won't have to. I should know. I do it every single day of my life. I believe so does Clarke. What's frightening is how she will handle the aftermath. I'm afraid she may not have enough experience to absorb the enormity of her actions. I have no idea what laws govern the sky, but I do know there are differences. It somehow scares me that Clarke may feel remorseful of something that is deemed completely normal down here on Earth.

If I am right, then it is possible that the guilt may eat her alive.  
  
Without further thinking, I turn to Ryder. "Find Clarke." The soldier nods. "Make sure she is safe, and return only when she will." As soon as he sees the finality in my expression, Ryder pulls his horse to a different direction and dashes away into a journey that, if the circumstances are different, I wouldn't think twice to take. The sky people's chancellor has yet to make up her mind, but I need no confirmation from anyone to send someone after Clarke. It will be for my own sake, not anyone else's.  
  
_Until we meet again._

* * *

 We return to Tondc after almost an hour. Tahli and I get off our horses as soon as the gates open. Shortly after settling inside my room, Indra joins me bearing the news of the eleven messengers I asked before I left for Camp Jaha.

"Your messengers are ready, Heda."  
  
I turn my back as I walk to my throne. "Tell them to wait for further instructions."  
  
The chief nods but she hesitates to leave the room. She turns to me upon noticing something.   
  
" _Ryder laik gon we_." [Ryder is not here.] She says.  
  
"No, he is not, indeed. He is on a mission." My constituent lifts her chin. She is confused yet she dare not to ask me further questions. Once again, I am left alone.   
  
The first time I heard the news of the sky people's victory over the mountain, I was certain that they will get back to us at one point. I still do. In my observation, those people value loyalty so much that they are willing to risk their lives saving a few others of their own. My decision back up at the mountains is anything but loyal. A war with the mountain was something our people could not afford. We had long accepted the fact that some of our people had to die or be used by the mountain. It became part of our routine, of our lives. It was a destiny we did not dare to alter.   
  
The alliance with the sky people was not a necessity for us. We had no need for it. If it was down to Indra, I guess it will immediately end up in war. They will be eliminated then and there. I know that Abby, the Chancellor of the Skaikru, is against our ways. Her resent for my people and our culture is evident in the way she speaks, in the way she acts, and in the way she looks at us.   
  
For those times the alliance was tested by different factors, most of them had given up. But Clarke is different. She wanted to keep it alive for as long as possible. Until that very moment I called for everyone to stand down and to leave the mountain.  
  
I think it is curious how I did not see anger in her eyes that night. I was expecting for her to burst and lash out at me. Instead, she stood firmly on her spot, staring at me with pleading eyes. As the Commander, Clarke needed me. She told me that before, when we were trapped inside the _Pauna_ 's cage. Part of me wished it would be for the reasons I desire. But no. She needs my help so she could save her friends and nothing more.   
  
That is what I keep telling myself.  
  
A few minutes of nap was a luxury I used to deny myself. I used to worry about the things I had no control of. Through the years, I learned that it is, in fact, pointless; that there is no point in letting things and circumstances, the what ifs, live rent free in my head when I could be resting instead. _Well, that reminds me of Clarke_.  
  
After a short while, Indra comes rushing in bearing the news I am hoping but not expecting to hear.   
  
" _Skaikru laik hir, Heda_." [The sky people are here, Commander.]  
  
Honestly, I find the Chancellor's decision surprising. I do not think she will take the deal in such situation we are in. In any case, it would be mostly for their own sake.   
  
For years, I have known trust and betrayal. God forbids, I just did one. Treachery is also a frequent companion of mine. It wouldn't be that hard to recognize it. And I am afraid I sense it with our visitors. The chancellor acts as if her decision is forced on her, rather than made out of her own will. Nevertheless, I accommodate her judgment. I just need to prepare for whatever she may have up her sleeves.  
  
"Chancellor." I greet the leader with utmost impartiality. Soon, I learn that the feeling is mutual.  
  
"Commander." The chancellor acknowledges. "I would like to have a word with you," She says right after our short salutations.   
  
The two of us, including Indra and one of the Chancellor's soldier, enter the room I come from not two minutes ago. Her expression does not change, rather it becomes even more serious, that much is reflected by how tense her facial muscles are. As soon as we settle inside, the chancellor does not waste any second.   
  
"I cannot guarantee that all the reapers will survive this, Lexa." She starts. "All we can do is keep them alive until the drugs leave their bodies. Just because Lincoln survived, doesn't mean everyone else will."   
  
"I am aware of it."  
  
The chancellor lifts her chin. I watch the sky person intently as she and Kane exchange glances. "I just want to be clear. Even if we fail, I believe our mere attempt to bring them back will be enough to fulfill our part of the deal."  
  
"I trust that you will do everything that you can then?" Indra flinches at my words. I could tell what she must be thinking; that this is not fair. We are bargaining for the Reapers, and we are at a greater loss should things don't go the right way. "If so, then you have my word, Chancellor." I answer. "Is there anything else?"   
  
She no longer mouth words, rather she shakes her head.   
  
"Very well."  
  
Outside, I command one of my warriors to escort our visitors to Nyko. Instinctively, Indra follows the crowd. I do not wish to stop her from dealing with her personal affairs, but I have even more pressing issues to deal with.  
  
"Indra," She turns to me. "Bring me the messengers. It is time."

* * *

For the rest of the day, most of the village awaits the outcome of the treatments provided by our visitors. Should it end up successful, it will be a miracle for the Trikru–another grandstand of the sky people's capabilities. The word will spread and there is a possibility that others might see it the wrong way. It might heighten their fear of these people. That is where I enter the picture. I need to make sure that there is a room for a thirteenth clan.   
  
The night approaches and by then, only the harrowing cries of the Reapers could be heard. Most of the Reapers' families camp outside, waiting patiently for a miracle. Nyko and Abby's whole medical team, including Lincoln and Octavia, move without rest. I am a witness to that as I stand outside the Commander's shelter. The former Trikru healer catches my glance and nods toward my direction. I return the gesture. He truly is showered by luck. Lincoln made a bold decision to fight for what he believes in, even if it meant turning against his own people. He ends up being with the person he loves. That is not, however, the ultimate prize–Octavia, reciprocating not only the affection, but also the desire to make each other better, is. Truth be told, I envy him, them–everyone who could think of themselves. I have grave responsibilities as the Commander. I may be smarter than most, but I have doubts if such ability is truly a gift, or a curse.  
  
After sending the messengers away, I let the chief go. She does not speak of herself. I, however, know her better. Behind that fierce mask is an aching heart–one that longs for someone so dearly. We, warriors, are trained to withstand any pain. As we rank up, our emotions fade. Only the burning passion to lead our people stays.   
  
But it doesn't always have to end that way.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
By dawn, most are fast asleep. Only the guards and some of the medical personnel stay awake. Nobody knows when the treatments will end, or how–not yet. Not until one sky person yells outside, immediately calling their Chancellor. I bolt right up as I hear something outside. These are crucial times anyway. Soon, everyone are on their feet, wondering what the ruckus is about.  
  
" _Heda! Heda!_ " Tahli shouts upon seeing me. I meet him halfway and we both walk to the source of the sound. "The Reapers,"  
  
We pass through the crowd and make it in front where the families of our infected brothers wait for an update. Among them stands Indra who appears to have stayed like the rest of the few around her. Unfaltering, the will of a longing heart is. An eerie silence hangs in the air. We are all at the edge of ourselves as some of us run out of patience. Pleading words, cries of pain and curses from the restless; I could hear my people whisper and murmur and whine and weep. I am ready to take another step forward and see the result once and for all so I could prepare my people.   
  
But it becomes unnecessary.   
  
As Octavia opens the door, Lincoln emerges from inside with someone by his shoulder. Everyone is a witness how a Trikru warrior–not a Reaper–walks out of the door alive.  
  
"Father!" A boy squeezes through the crowd. Weakened, the man falls on his knees upon hearing the child's voice. Within seconds, the two share a heartfelt embrace. "Father! You're alive!"   
  
A woman's voice follows, joining the reunited father and son. "Doni, oh, Doni!!  
  
Soon, more warriors come out of the door, limping, staggering as they approach their anticipating love ones. Tears shed but for a totally different reason–out of joy; a first in many years. Lincoln and Octavia stand at the side as they watch the scene with hopes glistening in their eyes. The former Trikru apprentice glances over the chief who barely flinches at the sight before us all. Her eyes firmly stares at the door, counting seconds into minutes.  
  
Three, four.  
  
I could read her lips.   
  
Five, six.  
  
Later, I realize she is not counting the time, rather the warriors.   
  
Seven, eight.  
  
And then she stops.  
  
Abby walks out of the door, her fellow medic following behind her. There is quite a subtle smug look on the chancellor's face, and a sorrow on her apprentice's. Success is at hand, it seems. Yet their silence is bothersome. The Skaikru leader notices my presence and comes closer to my direction. She is preparing herself to deliver an unpleasant news.   
  
"We did everything that we could." She utter the words as if they are script from an old play. I politely turn away from the chancellor and turn to the door instead.  
  
My eyes wander to where our healer emerges. Nyko finds Indra and shakes his head as he gazes down. Everything that surrounds the chief goes in slow motion at that moment. Through my peripheral, I see how she opens her mouth to take air in as she tries to grasp the revelation. A tear slowly falls from her eyes; her head hangs low. The mighty, battle scarred chief of the village does not break down, yet one could easily discern how she is dying inside.   
  
I take a deep breath in before I finally walk over to my constituent. Her eyes crawl up and meets mine. There are no words to describe a mother's pain–more so, an unspoken one. I could not offer her anything but the chance to be with her fallen son who lies inside the room for the last time. As soon as Indra walks in waveringly, everyone else whose father, or brother, or son, or grandson, or nephew or friend, or pretty much anyone that did not make it through, follows suit.   
  
The lives of eight people against the death of three.   
  
It would be an instant victory in the past.  
  
I do not know what to call it anymore.  
  
"We tried to revive them, all three of them, but they just..." The Chancellor speaks. "...they didn't make it." She continues, stating the obvious. I nod, acknowledging her statement.   
  
It would be a fine moment to grieve but there is also life. Not to mention the biddings of our visitors– _ally_ if I may say so. I face the Chancellor with a plain expression. "After we burn our dead, we can make things official. You should all take your rest. We will do the ritual in daylight." Soon, the area is cleared, the living take their own and celebrates with a brief rest before we honor the dead first thing in the morning. I remain outside as others stay in the shelter and offer their last goodbyes.   
  
As people leave, two person stay rooted to their spots: Octavia and Lincoln. Through my peripheral, I notice how the young warrior is taking the situation in. For the past weeks, Octavia proved herself to be a true warrior inside. Her potential sprouted hopes and somewhat bliss for the chief of the village. She became her apprentice; for my constituent, however, it was so much more than that. For years, she had not taken any second. No one was deemed worthy to be one, not until the sky person came. I saw Indra took delight in training the young warrior. It oddly seemed similar in the past, back to when she was training her only son.   
  
Octavia holds back the tears that are on the verge of falling. While her loyalty truly lies with her brother and her friends, somehow I feel that part of the young warrior still belongs to Trigeda. Her respect and regard for my people remains, even if she loathes their commander. 

* * *

_"Raun faya, oso wada klin laudnes-de kom fotaim_." [In fire, we cleanse the pain of the past.]  
  
These are words we say whenever we burn our fallen brothers and sisters. Be it pain of untimely or hostile deaths, or simply the pain of losing someone, fire brings comfort in our hearts. In our culture, there is nothing better for the dead but to turn into ashes. In such way, their spirits will truly be free. Whether they will live as another or roam free and watch over their dearest, nobody knows. Our elders speak of a legend that a spirit relives a life so it may find its other half. It could be in another person, either a romantic partner or simply a true friend. It may also be in the same person but the adversaries in life made part of the whole turn away and get lost, leaving the other half incomplete. A weary spirit cannot truly rest. In entirety will it only find peace.   
  
As I set the pile of woods on fire, three bodies burn and more than a dozen mourn in silence. The fire flickering and woods blazing are the only sounds we could hear. A moment of peace for the living and the departed. Out of respect, nobody speaks about the dead. The living do not dwell on the agony of the past–not out loud. No one asks questions or extends condolences. Once the fire dies, so is the time to grieve.   
  
The dead are gone, and the living are hungry.  
  
With tearful yet determined eyes, Indra watches Abby as she joins me in front of everyone else. I give her a short nod before making the deal official.  
  
"Today, we face loses. But we are also presented with the gift of life, as some of our brothers awaken out the monstrosity that the mountain turned them into. Such is not possible without the help of neighbors, the sky people." I glance at their chancellor. "In return, we shall give them a chance for life as well. On this day forwards, the sky people and the woods clan will share peace within these lands. Anyone who dares to defy that, will pay with their life."

No one seems to have a problem with the truce from both sides. My people are quite ecstatic about the miracle that the sky people did. Truly, it is peace. For now.  
  
At the gates of Tondc, Indra and I bid farewell to our visitors. Their chancellor leads them as they march back into their camp. Lincoln and Octavia are the last ones to leave. I sense the hesitation in the young warrior. I believe, so does Indra. But the chief turns and walks back inside right after the last of the sky people steps out.   
  
"You are free to come by anytime, should you wish for it." I call out to them. "You are most welcome here."  
  
Lincoln nods and goes on his way, believing that Octavia is right behind him. But my words were not meant to strike him, rather the young warrior. She does not take any step forward, instead she faces me.  
  
"What's in it for you?" She speaks. I must admit, I find the courage on her tone surprising although I ironically expect nothing less from the young warrior. I keep my stance, trying not to take any offense from her words.   
  
"What do you mean by those words?"  
  
Slowly, she turns around. "What do you get from all of these?"   
  
At that point, I understand what she is trying to decipher. I motion for Tahli, the warrior standing behind me, to leave us. Without hesitation, the warrior obliges but the young warrior stops her.  
  
"No, stay." She turns back to me. "You willingly sacrificed hundreds of your own people days ago, and now you begged for eight of your warriors to be healed." Octavia does not take any steps closer, but her glare pierces right through my armor. "We offered you peace after you send hundreds of your men after us, and then you betrayed us. Now, you declare peace just like that?" We hold each other's eyes for a moment. "What kind of leader are you?"  
  
It barely takes me a second to think of a proper respond.   
  
"One that keeps the peace between twelve clans." I reply without blinking. I understand the young warrior's lament. I have always taken her as the free-spirited, brave warrior. "One day, you'll understand, Octavia of the sky people."

* * *

**Clarke**  
  
Traveling alone is no picnic. Traversing a world full of mysteries, full of hopes, full of uncertainties is never easy. So far, I have met one person which is surprising. It's either I am being watched, or I am taking the wrong path. Well, I wouldn't say wrong. I have no destination after all.  
  
As we were making our way to his burial site, Enko told me about rogues that travel along the other side of the river. Those people were branded as such because of rumors that they rob lone travelers or small villages so they can offer something to trade with every clan they pass. They don't take everything, rather they find something–even someone–that might be worthy.   
  
Enko's side of the river was off limits to the rogues for one reason: a myth that whoever crosses the river will meet the same fate as the _pauna_ who died in his hands. He laughed at the thought. People have a way of twisting and turning stories from something marvelous into ridiculous. The trees indeed have ears. Unfortunately, not everyone could understand them clearly.   
  
I wash my face with crystal clear water from the river. I would love to jump and bathe in it if not for the giant monster that lurks underneath. Maybe I could kill that monster and use its skin for cloth. _Yeah, I'll do that someday_. I chuckle. _You're going insane, Clarke_. After freshening myself up, I sit on a huge trunk of a tree not too far from the riverbank. The sun is barely up and I already feel the weight of the day. My attempt to survive alone as a nomad is taking its toll on me. My arms and legs are sore from all the target shooting I did with Enko's bow. It's easy to hit a tree, but a moving target? I need to practice more. I close for eyes for a brief rest.   
  
A low thumping of horse hooves wakes me up after what seems to be a minute of nap. I bolt right up and peak behind the thick leaves of the tree. For some reason, the thought of seeing someone, be it a warrior, a rogue or a traveler, makes me excited and anxious at the same time.   
  
_Come on, show yourselves._    
  
The sound of horses pass and nobody comes in sight. I wait for another ten minutes, yet nothing happens. _It might not be the day, Clarke_. I let out a sigh and resume my previous position. _I better save energy for my appointment with the world later, as if._ I laugh at myself. Not too long after, I fall into slumber.

* * *

Darkness engulfs the whole place. Rain is pouring and I could feel my bones chill as I run after someone in the middle of the woods. The wind is howling in my ear, my chest heaving with every breathe I take. I hold the pistol firmly in my hand, my index finger right below the trigger in case an opportunity to shot the person comes. We keep on running for hours until I feel my legs are no longer working the way I want them to. I am slowing down. _No!_ Anger boils within myself. Tears mix with raindrops and I blindly fire the pistol at front. A sob escapes my lips. My hands shake and the gun almost slip off. I wipe the tears from my eyes and I step away from the sight. Lexa stands before me, her chest bleeding endlessly. My eyes gaze up from her wound; her face unmasked, her eyes glowing with silent tears. "I hope it makes you feel better." She whispers. My mouth hangs open as I shake my head in disbelief. A smile curves on her lips. "May we meet again, Clarke." Those are her last words before she falls to the ground and loses consciousness.   
  
The pain on my chest is unbearable. I throw the gun away and I run to Lexa, but before my hand could touch her, she disappears. The intolerable lump in my throat makes it hard for me to breathe. A million things run in my head. So much unspoken words and...  
  
I open my eyes. I stare blankly into the shades of green above myself. A dream. A nightmare. Whatever it was, it didn't make me feel better. In my head, I blame the grounders' Commander for what I did in Mount Weather. I might have thought of ways to get back to her, to make her feel the same pain that I felt when she betrayed us; when she betrayed me. It's funny how my consciousness never fail to give me scenarios in my dreams and let me see the possibilities. It's like a constant reminder that I cannot run away from the past, or the future.   
  
Unaware of the tears that stream down my cheeks, I bury my face on my hands as I sit up. I try not to think about the Commander or what transpired between the two of us the best I could. God knows I am not ready to face it. Not yet.   
  
As my eyes peak over my hands, I feel somewhat agitated. Something is off and it isn't just my feelings. It's as if someone is watching me. My heart skips a beat and that's how I know something is definitely not right. My head snap to my left and that confirms it.  
  
Indeed, I am being watched.  
  
"Fuck!" I cry out, startled by the sight. I almost fall off the trunk as I move backwards.  
  
A child, about three to four feet tall, is standing half a meter away from me. A dark brown tattered scarf covers half their face up to the lips. The child keeps their posture, unwavered by my reaction. Recovering as fast as I could, I pull the dagger off my pants and hold it against myself. We both keep eye contact as the child stays motionless in front of me. Two minutes later, the child rush back to the river, jumps from one huge rock to another until they reach the other side.   
  
I follow the creep ( _yeah that seems appropriate, no?)_ until the child is out of sight. Hastily, I pick up what can be considered as my belongings: the _pauna_ 's overcloth and Enko's bow. I follow the child's path under the security provided by the shadow of the woods. At the end of the trail, right under a vast tree, is a makeshift tent. A man and a woman are busy stocking their luggage on a cart. I am torn between running for my life–which is pretty cowardly, I am surprised I even thought of it–and waiting for the strangers' reaction. I maybe outnumbered, but at least one against two (or two and a half) wouldn't hurt as much.  
  
Strange enough, the child doesn't speak to the adults. They merely sit on a wooden container and innocently stare into nowhere. Another woman approaches the three travelers and the child finally speaks. I couldn't hear them, but I must say it isn't in English. I try to read their lips and all I could get is one word. I believe they are saying fuck.  
  
What the hell?  
  
The three adults turn to my direction–or rather, the other side of the river. The last one to arrive pulls the child by their– _his_ –ears and seemingly shouts at him. She keeps on pointing to my side of the river. The man starts to put their stuff back into the cart as the other woman goes away to fetch their horses. Within minutes, they are ready to leave. Fear is visible in their faces. They believe in the myth, the legend that was Enko. And it surprises me how these people take it seriously, like their lives depend on it.  
  
Part of me is disappointed that after days of waiting for something to happen, it simply passes by. I had my hope for something that ended up as anti-climatic.   
  
Well, it doesn't have to be, does it?  
  
_My life. My time. My call._  
  
I put the black overcloth on, hang the bow around my chest and safely place the dagger back inside my side pocket. I can't imprison myself within these woods any longer. As much as it offers security, it also renders inevitable seclusion, and I seek nothing of the two. Without second thought, I mimic the boy. I pass the river through the rocks and make it to the other side. There is an irrational feeling of uncertainty and excitement the moment my feet lands on it.   
  
_This is my choice. I am moving forward._  
  
After one last look at the forest that served as Enko's haven, I look down to check the tracks left by the travelers earlier. By the looks of the trail, it is not a usual path. There are barely track marks and footprints. Tall grass everywhere and it seems endless, if not maze-like. Nevertheless, I follow what I believe to be the path taken by the travelers and continue my journey from there. 

* * *

The land on the other side of the river is not much different from where I come from. What truly bothers me is how I lost the travelers who left not longer than ten minutes before I did. With my current pace, I might not make it to a village or a town, not that I think it would be any safer.   
  
Noon arrives and I do not feel any less lost than before. I cannot wander around weak, and that means I have to eat. Fortunately, there is no need for me to slay any creature. A type of berry, with color that ranges from yellow to orange, serves as my lunch. Their abundance on the part of the land I ends up at is quite delightful. The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, but there sure are more fruits to pick along the way. Then I notice that these are not wild berries. I walk to where more bushes are and realize one thing: it's being cultivated–which means someone is taking care of them, and there is house or a even village nearby.   
  
I am not a thief, but hunger is not an enemy I could battle for too long. While I do not want to starve myself, I believe I should not be taking someone else's food as well. I eat as much as I need to, and later did the one thing I could to repay for my debt: water the rest of the bushes. Luckily, the river extends this far. I hope they will forgive me for taking what isn't mine.

 _And you even care for those you haven't met yet. Way to go, Clarke._  
  
For the rest of the day, I spend my time exploring the woods surrounding the bushes, partly hoping to see a village nearby, or the person who takes care of the berries at least. As time passes by, I unintentionally fall asleep. No nightmare comes in my slumber–it happens by the time I wake up.  
  
When I open my eyes, lights in between the woods tells me that it is dusk. I squint as I try to figure out what feels wrong. Then it dawns to me: this place is not what my eyes saw last before I fell asleep. Also, my hands are tightly tied behind my back. That's besides the rope around my torso tied around the tree I am leaning my back against. Enko's bow sits right beside me, and my dagger is still intact. Whoever apprehended me has no intention of taking the pain any further, or not yet at least.   
  
A loud gasp from behind catches my attention. My eyes widen upon seeing the same boy from the riverbank.   
  
"Mama! Mama!" He yells as he run back to where he comes from.   
  
" _Kalyate o te bas a despertar aeya!_ " [Shut up or you'll wake her!] A shrill voice responds to the boy.  
  
" _Eya esta despyer,_ mama. _Benir iber!_ " [She is awake, mom. Come and see!] He pulls his mother and they both appear to my left. " _Fok es despyer!_ " [Fawk is awake!] He points at me. The woman gasps and instantly takes a step back.   
  
Wait, what?  
  
The other two travelers run to their aid as if the two are under the attack of my bare sight. The man quickly retrieves his axe and hits me in the head with its wooden handle. Next thing I know, I could feel my face against a hard platform. I look around and recognize it as the travelers' cart. My hands are still tied and I could smell my blood from my head. I still feel dizzy from the assault, and the bumps on the road are not helping me.  
  
" _Lo ke se ba pasar kon Fok,_ mama?" [What will happen to Fawk, mom?] I hear the young traveler's voice.   
  
That time, the man answers the child in their local tongue. " _Bamos a bender ala Kostales_." [We will sell her to the Coast People.]  
  
The only thing I understand is the word _Kostales_ whom Enko told me about. I take no more effort in trying to decipher the rest because it is hopeless and I am not feeling any better.   
  
Soon, I lost consciousness, again.

* * *

One of the many stories that the elders from the Ark told us is about an emperor who parade an imaginary cloth around his kingdom to prove he is not stupid. For hundreds of years, it gained fame and garnered several translations and commentaries. My personal favorite is how it relates to pluralistic ignorance. It is an intriguing tale for a children's story. Also quite relevant to my situation. Enko told me how the black overcloth will protect me from people I will meet along the way. I guess I was a fool to believe that it actually will. I was a fool for even trusting him. What if he was banished for a totally different reason? What if he was actually a criminal who avoided excruciating torture and a peaceful death was more of an escape? What if he was indeed poisoned with a deadly contagious disease and I am, in turn, infected by it? Those thoughts are merely the tip of an iceberg inside my head. It is foolish of me to trust someone that easy– _again_. I should have learned from the past–from a rather recent one.   
  
The cart stops and my face slams against a bag of something hard and pretty edgy. I already untied my hands with the use of my dagger they let me keep inside my pocket. Like I said, they are pretty lenient for rogues. Nevertheless, I keep my hands together behind my back to pretend its still bound. A minute later, the man appeared behind and stares at me. His axe in his hands, as if he is ready to attack any moment. I lift my head up a bit, just enough to peak beyond the cart and see where we are. There are no trees nearby. We are definitely at a clearing.   
  
" _No te mwebas!_ " [Don't move!] the man shouts.   
  
I stare back at him, trying to figure out what he is telling me. He seems mad, but his eyes are somewhat saying a different story. There is fear in it. Are they frightened of me? Or should I be just as scared as he is?  
  
"No, no, _senyor!_ We have something really special today!" The woman with shrill voice speaks with another near the cart.  
  
Something special... Now, that's something I understand! And something I should fear, I think.  
  
"You always say that every time you come in here. Last time you brought us crap from a broken ship. Soon, the Captain will prevent you from even coming anywhere near us, _pikaro_." The man's tone is cold. So, they are indeed rogues, and they have been to a crash site. I doubt they've wandered around Tondc, which means they probably looted a different station. I think it would be smart to just listen and pretend I do not understand a thing they are saying.  
  
"No, this time, it's really special, _senyor_." The woman responds. "Kato _! Liebar el Fok!_ " [Kato! Bring the Fawk!]   
  
There are murmurs nearby as soon as the woman yells. The axe-bearing man glances away and turns back at me. Aggressively, he pulls me by my leg. Sharp objects underneath me scratches my arms and back. I guess that's my cue. My feet are tied, but I am able to muster enough strength to swing it and hit his jaw. He steps back upon impact although he doesn't fall. I free my hand and pull out the dagger to cut off the rope around my ankle and finally jump out of the cart. I am ready to fight. However, I am not expecting to battle a whole army. As soon as I am out, the man–Kato–moves away and doesn't even try to catch me. People gasping behind me makes me turn and the sight startles me. Standing beside the rogue woman is a tall man wearing armored brown clothing with greenish accents, sort of leaves. A sword hangs on his side. Five other men, soldiers perhaps, are standing by the entrance of a village that looks nothing like Tondc. They have shelters made of ruined brick walls, and gates made of steel. They all have the same expressions painted on their faces.   
  
" _El ombre en el boske!_ " [The man in the woods!] One of the men shouts. All at once, the soldiers raise their weapons. Swords, spears, even arrows from rangers above–they are all aiming at me. And I prepare myself for what may become the battle of my life, or the end of it.  
  
The man standing beside the rogue woman raises his hand. He dare not to draw his weapon, instead he slowly approaches, eyes studying me closely. I swallow as I stand my ground, dagger in my right hand. The hood of the black overcloth shadows my face, yet I give the soldier the mightiest glare I have.   
  
"This is not the man of the woods," He says. At that moment, he stares directly into my eyes. "This is no man at all."  
  
" _Por pabor, no le agas danyo Fok, senyor_." [Please do not hurt Fawk, mister.] A familiar voice yells from my left. It is the same boy back in the riverbanks.   
  
The soldier shakes his head. "No, even if I desire to hurt this Fawk you speak of, I do not think the Captain will approve of it." He responds without letting go of my stare. " _Abrir las pwertas!_ [Open the gates!] Bring the Fawk to the Captain." He commands. I watch how the soldiers obey him as they withdraw their weapons and open the gates. The man bows his head a bit and extends his right arm toward the village entrance, motioning for me to come forward.   
  
"Fawk?" I whisper. have no idea what they all mean by Fawk, but I have a feeling that it is not as grand as they think it is.   
  
For a moment, I think twice about going inside the village. Enko's words are yet to be proven. However, a glimpse of respect is already seen as mentioned by the true man of the woods. I notice how the people of this village stares at the black overcloth. It is definitely not just any fabric at all. Nevertheless, I decide to take the chance and see what this clan has. It might not necessarily give me what I seek. But I believe a learning experience is worth it.  
  
"Wait! What about us?" The rogue yells. One of the soldiers hands her a small bag of token. She complains about giving them a rare find but the soldier merely scoffs and closes the gate as we pass it. I take one last look at the rogues outside. The boy is still staring at me. I subtly nod at him and he does the same.  
  
When I turn back to the village, people are either outside their doors or peaking at their windows. They all marvel at my presence–a first ever in my whole time on Earth. As we walk further inside, whispers of the words _ombre_ and _mono_ could be heard from the villagers. They even mention the curious _Fawk_ that they seem to associate with me. I try not to judge.

The place is not huge, yet there are plenty of brick walls around. I can barely see the different if not for their clothes, but I feel that the village is much fortunate than Tondc. The guards and I trail up a stair toward a building that seems to be at the center of the village. At the top, a middle-aged woman wearing battle armor and green shoulder pads opens her arms upon seeing me.  
  
"Welcome, Fawk of the woods, to Ornia."


	4. Chapter 4

In space, there is only one Ark. Twelve stations, composed of hundreds of families, joined together and built a community that catered life after Earth. It was similar to what people of the past would call a cruise ship, only it had one destination, there were no stop overs, and it took almost a century before the trip ended-in an unconventional way. Also, it flew. People lived in their designated rooms of their respective stations. There were no backyards or gardens, no pools or garages. Schools and offices existed, but there were no out-of-town trips. Hell, there was no town even. The sky people were just as imprisoned as the mountain men. Supplies were enough to get by for several years. Safety and security, however, rendered them cloistered. People had little control of their lives. The council made all necessary decisions to ensure perpetuity. No one from recent generations would notice it, but to a point, it was suffocating.

It was not living at all.

After the medical team led by Abby returns from Tondc, news of peace with the grounders spread around. Everyone at Camp Jaha are delighted by the turns of events. They can start building their lives on Earth at last. All those images of houses can finally come alive. Soon, each of them can have something to call their own. That someday starts today.

"I believe this calls for a celebration." Kane speaks as he enters the room, joining the Chancellor. "Peace, finally."

Abby glances at the councilor with a calm expression. "We both know that's not going to last long."

"Come on, Abby. We don't know that for sure. Why not enjoy what we have right now?"

"...because I am the Chancellor." She speaks with conviction. "It is my job to think of all possibilities."

The councilor purses his lips and gazes down, seemingly contemplating. The ground changed all of them. They are not the same people who fell from the sky. Not since the day they sent one hundred children to Earth. Kane is aware of it. The sky knows how much he changed since his mother died from the bombing back when the Ark was still up in space. Changes happen. It is inevitable. Will it lead to something better or worse, there is no guarantee. The decision is up to the person. Some people make excuses, as if things were forced on them when the truth is, they made a choice.

When he looks at Abby, he sees both a mother who lost her child, and a leader who seeks revenge. Her eyes speaks of one thing: determination. He fears that changes in the Chancellor might turn her into something that even Clarke does not wish to be. For someone who is in charge, anything is possible. Power is everything.

"Fine. You can have your celebration." Her voice interrupts Kane's thoughts. "Just don't let those kids get wasted. There are rules to follow. You might want to remind them of that." The councilor nods and offers a small smile before the Chancellor leaves the room.

Kane hopes for the alternative, but he has a feeling that the worse is yet to come.

* * *

"Hey," Bellamy greets are he approach Raven.

Wick is on duty, and that leaves the young mechanic alone with injured children and guards from Mount Weather. Incidentally, she is not enjoying any second of it.

The older Blake stands beside Raven. "How are you doing?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic." The young mechanic responds. That earns a chuckle from the new member of the guards. "What's up? Any news from the Chancellor?"

"They're back. There will be a celebration tonight."

Raven's eyebrows crease. "What for?"

"Peace, basically. For some reason, the Chancellor accepted the truce." He explains. If it was down to him, he will no longer take any deal with the grounders. They were left to die, yet they survived on their own, like how they always do. Besides, if the grounders can betray them once, it is not impossible for them to do it again.

Bellamy continues to talk about how he would respond to such offer if he is in charge. But Raven's mind trails off after hearing about peace. She remembered how serious Abby was when she talked about the facilities in Mount Weather. The look on her face spoke of war and not peace. At that time, she was certain that the Chancellor was preparing to attack the grounders in retaliation for their betrayal. If they need that much weapon, then what is the point of this peace?

Bellamy notice the unlikely expression on Raven's face. "Are you okay?"

_Oh, and one more thing. Not a word to anyone-and I mean anyone, am I clear?_

Abby's voice resounds inside her head.

For a moment, Raven thinks of disclosing what she knows to her company. Since she fell down from the sky, her loyalty turned to the delinquents. Had Finn chose not to save her sorry ass up in space, she would mostly likely be part of the hundred anyway. Honestly, those kids are the closest she has to a family-after Finn, that was. And knowing the older Blake-or any Blake for that matter-she knows it can lead into something that will definitely change the game: a revolution.

"Raven?"

The young mechanic turns to her friend. Lost for words, she takes a minute before she is able to respond. "I wish I could join you."

It is Bellamy's turn be enveloped by confusion.

"At the party, you ass." Raven rolls her eyes.

"I don't think it would be a kind of party that you're thinking of."

"Well, it sure will be better than spending another night with wail-girl and mutt-head." She gestures to two other patients inside the clinic; Harper, the one who first experienced multiple bone marrow harvests, and some other kid who had the same experience.

"You know what they had been through, right?"

The young mechanic glares at him. "Oh, trust me, Bellamy, I know." She utters while gazing at her battered body. "I just need to feel something else besides the holes in my bones."

Understanding the young mechanic, Bellamy smiles. "Fine. I think I might be able to work something out."

* * *

Lincoln and Octavia do not join Abby and the rest of the medical team back to the Ark. Instead, the young warrior takes a detour into a lake nearby. Its crystal clear water sparkle as the sunshine beams down on it. It is noon, but the younger Blake feels no hunger for food, rather for answers.

The younger Blake ponders on the Commander's actions. After everything that happened in the recent past, suddenly they have peace. While it is true that one should be glad for the status quo, Octavia could not begin to think how she will decide if she was in the Chancellor's shoes. Maybe she will plot a revenge, specially now that they have eliminated the primary threat to the grounders. They should be the ones to be feared now.

_Feared?_

"You seem to hate the Commander so much." Lincoln's voice snaps Octavia out of her thoughts. He joins her as she stands beside the lake, staring blankly into the opposite side of it.

The young warrior glances at her boyfriend before responding. "I haven't forgiven her for what she did in Mount Weather," She resumes her blank stare into the wilderness. "Have you?"

Lincoln retrieves a small water container. He kneels as he submerges the container into the lake, filling it with water. "I understand why she made such decision."

"Of course, you're her people." She replies bitterly.

"No, that doesn't mean I agree with her."

"Do you believe we could still have rescued our friends, and defeated the mountain men if she didn't take the deal?" The question has been lingering in her mind since their safe return to the Ark. They had an enormous army right outside the metal doors of Mount Weather; they had control on its power, hence their facilities; they had an inside man ready to awaken the sleeping army inside; they had a plan, a smartly deviced tactic that took a long, tedious process to make. Success was within their reach; they were halfway there. Just as the war was starting, however, the Tree people-the Commander-concede the battle. Octavia was right about not trusting her again, but she was not in charged.

The former Trikru healer stares at the droplets of water from the container. He, too, believed in the alliance and its potential. The cooperation of both parties were truly exceptional; two different people vying for the same purpose. Nevertheless, unforeseen circumstances may always arise, just as how things went down. He, of all people, should know.

"We'll never know." Is his only response.

"Lincoln, you were there. Everyone was united for the same goal, you've seen it with your own eyes. Tell me, couldn't we have made it?" The young warrior's eyes are glaring at her boyfriend. There is no point in arguing about the matter, Octavia is aware of it. Still, she could 't shake the idea off her mind.

The healer inhales before responding. "I know, Octavia. But things change,"

"You mean, people choose." The young warrior intercepts. She shakes her head as she moves away from the water.

"I bailed, too, on your brother. You know that." Lincoln reminds. "I was so certain that I can get him through the tunnels." That time, the healer clenches his jaw upon remembering what happened. "I thought I could fight it, but I lost. I conceded."

"That was a different situation, Lincoln. He made it through anyway, with your help." Octavia reasons.

The healer looks up and gazes into the sky. "And your people made it through, as well."

Lincoln and Octavia stay silent. At that time, enlightenment draws upon the young warrior. The words of the healer somehow help her understand the situation. She is not a fool to know that things may change in the process. Still, she is determined to resent the Commander.

Following the young warrior, Lincoln hooks the water container at the loop of his bag. "Besides, we don't know what the mountain men said to convince her."

"Why do you keep on defending her?" Octavia asks.

Lincoln glances at his girlfriend. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are." She says. "Never mind. She is the Commander anyway."

"It's not like that, Octavia." The young warrior remains silent. "I just understand her, and I should know better."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She halts. The man continues for a few steps before turning back to Octavia.

"She saved my life, Octavia, back when we were younger." He confesses. The young warrior is not surprised yet her brow creases. "My father was attacked by the Reapers. I was with him at that time. We were taking kamari weeds in the river so my mother can make medicine. We dived underwater and I was the last one to rise up. Next thing I know, my father was face down on the ground, unconscious. Two Reapers were tying him up. I panicked and I wanted to run but I heard my father's voice inside my head, yelling for me to fight back. He said, 'Man up, Lincoln.' So I charged at one of the Reapers and gave him everything that I got."

With a slow pace, the two continue on their way back into the camp. "Of course, I failed. They overpowered and outnumbered me. I was prepared to die, but it was not what's going to happen next. The Reapers, they were fighting each other, arguing who will have me for dinner, and I never felt scared in my entire life." A chuckle emanates from the healer. "Then out of nowhere, two arrows flew and hit the two Reapers straight to their heads. Lexa appeared from the direction of the shooter, holding a bow in her hand. I recognized her as soon as she came out. She was our clan leader's second at the time."

"Anya?" Octavia guesses.

"Yes." He squints as he tries to remember the rest. "The Commander pulled her sword and stabbed it against the Reapers' chests to make sure they were dead. She didn't say anything for a minute, and I just stared at her. After that, she mentioned my father, and I almost forgot he needs assistance." The healer laughs out of amusement. "That same day, she became the commander."

"Why? Was it because she saved you and your father?"

"Yes and no. Yes, it was because she saved us–me, but her reason was... Let's just say it should had been quite offensive to me at the time. While warriors are truly tasked to protect everyone, the Commander had a different reason."

The brunette snaps. "Don't tell me she fancies you."

"Fancy?" Confused, Lincoln responds. He understands the word. However, it seems out of context.

"Yes, fancy. As in... she likes you... or something." Octavia hides her blushing cheeks as she speaks.

"No, no definitely not." The healer could not help but laugh.

Mad, the young warrior glares at her boyfriend."What's so funny about it?"

"Nothing, it's just... Never mind." It takes him a couple more seconds before his laughter dies down. What truly angers the young warrior, besides feeling humiliated, is how Lincoln easily laughs at the matter. She had never seen him act that way before. Always, he has that serious expression on-every grounder does. For Octavia, it is refreshing but also irritating because he laughs about the Commander.

As soon as Lincoln calms down, he continues. "She saved me because I was being trained by the head healer of the village-my mother. She thought that my death could affect the future of our people. She saved me, so I can help them."

The brief anger and humiliation of the younger Blake fades as soon as she heard the continuation. Even at young age, the Commander was already thinking about the welfare of the Trikru. It turned out that it was the last thing they need to know about the young leader before calling her to Polis and officially making her the Commander. Lexa lost her childhood to leadership and war. Octavia could only imagine what else she had been missing all her life.

* * *

Back at Camp Jaha, people are already preparing for the celebration. Several guards goes on hunting in the land they can now call their own while some take other supplies like water and herbs without fear of anything. With high morale, the sky people cordially fulfill their duties. They treat the delinquents as if they were not sentenced to die weeks ago. Everyone has equal right and responsibilities.

A new start on Earth is about to begin.

Having the skill with guns, Bellamy is tasked to join the hunt. The rest of the children are left to rest; the able ones doing chores. One of them is Monty. As much as he wants to comfort his best friend who is still hang up about the loss of Maya, he knows there is nothing he can do for now but to give him time to grieve in peace. The tech wiz feels sad about the deaths of their allies inside the mountain. They protected the children the best they could in reparation for the troubles that their leaders have caused them. While it was true that they had been bleeding grounders for years, it was all for one thing-survival. They just want to live the same way any sky person does.

"Mr. Green?"

The voice startles Monty. The plate in his hands almost slip off as he jump off at the sound. It reminds him of his own experience outside the communications center at Mount Weather. "Jeez, don't do that!" He warns. As he glances over his shoulder, he sees the Chancellor standing behind him. "I-I'm s-sorry, Chancellor..."

"You have nothing to fear now." She replies.

"Y-yeah, you're right. I just... I-I couldn't help it." He places the plate down and dries his hands with the towel hanging by the makeshift counter. "Can I help you?"

Abby gazes around the area before responding. "Your friends say you are the one who made communications to Mount Weather possible." Monty's eyes turns down. "You did great, Mr. Green. You saved your friends."

"No, we saved each other. Everyone inside had a part to play. It was not possible if not for Clarke and Bellamy. Octavia and Raven, too." He glances up at the Chancellor. "...a-and of course, not without your help."

The Chancellor shakes her head. "No, you're right. It was mostly Clarke."

"She wanted to get all of us out of Mount Weather as soon as she got cleared. She said everything they were offering-food, shelter, safety, peace and chocolate cakes-they were all too good to be true, and we didn't listen. We decided to stay." The Chancellor looks away. "But Clarke did not give up. She did not abandoned us. She kept her promise that we will stick together-she and Bellamy." Monty refrains from continuing. Abby stares right through him. Her mind wanders off to the thought her daughter; her sweet Clarke whom everyone looks up to. She prefers to shove the idea off, but now she wonders, what would Clarke do?

"Do not sell yourself short, Mr. Green. All of those were not possible without you." He nods in acknowledgement of the thought. "...which reminds me of the reason why I am here. I would like to transfer you to the technical team immediately." The idea somehow lifts Monty's spirit. As much as he likes washing dishes, he prefers working on computers and stuff. "You have talent. I don't see why you shouldn't use it."

Monty nods with a smile on his face for the first time since their return.

By the time Octavia and Lincoln returns, preparations are almost done. Dusk has fallen, and lights hanging at the posts around the camp are starting to illuminate the whole place. The young warrior recognizes those lights; they are beacons of festivity. A familiar sound rings in her ears as they enter the gates. It's the same beat she heard before they took her down to her cell where she stayed imprisoned for years. The sky people are celebrating their newfound peace. Surreal, it seems. They finally have a peaceful home. In her mind there is one more thing, freedom.

* * *

"It's about time you two return."

Bellamy greets them as they walk further inside the camp. He leads them to the table where Raven pretends to enjoy her drink as she squirms in her seat. Clearly, she is not feeling any better. Nevertheless, the mechanic chooses to join the celebration. The young warrior knows exactly what Raven had been through for the past weeks, and she thinks she deserves every right to be there at the table.

"How are you feeling?" Lincoln asks Raven.

She lifts the cup to her lips before answering. "Better than dead, thanks for asking."

The four of them stay silent for a moment. They watch as everyone take part in the celebration. Bellamy was right, Raven thought. It was not the kind of party she was thinking of. Everybody is just eating and chatting. Adults are so boring. After a while, the two men excuse themselves to get them something to eat, leaving the two ladies at the table.

"It feels different not having Clarke around." The mechanic blurts. The younger Blake stares at her with a hint of curiosity. "It would be so much easier to talk if she's here, you know? Having someone to put the blame on. So much easier."

"Well, she needs to do some soul searching, doesn't she?"

"Of course she can't stay. Everyone marveled at how brave the sky leader was when the truth is, she had given up before." Another sip. "I told her no, you don't get to quit. Finn died and I didn't quit." It is a revelation to the younger Blake. "You may meet dead ends, you may make mistakes, you may put your trust on the wrong people, but you don't get to just walk away when things get hard, no."

Octavia stares at her company as she utters words that seems out of point but ironically makes sense.

"But the princess walked away and still, she became a hero."

The bitterness in Raven's voice is understandable, Octavia thinks. If one would ponder on everything that happened, the mechanic played a vital part for their survival. In fact, they might actually not have lived long enough to see the Ark on the ground if not for Raven. Without her, who knows if the children alone can survive the three hundred grounders sent before.

The young warrior's contemplation is interrupted not by her friend, rather by the man speaking in front of everyone not too far from where they sit. In the absence of the Chancellor, Kane stands at the Ark on the night of their celebration.

"People of the Ark, tonight, we celebrate victory." He orates in front of everyone. Within seconds, all ears are listening to the councilor. "With our collective efforts and sacrifices, we are able to save our children and defeat the threatening Mount Weather. All of us had a part, and we are all grateful to each and everyone of you." Pause. "I believe it is only fitting to honor our young heroes who whose efforts went above all." His scans the place at catches Octavia's gaze, along with the others. "Thank you for uniting us. You deserve this night." He lifts his cup, proposing a toast. The rest of the sky people does the same for them-the originally hundred children who are now down to forty six. Young they may be, but their experiences grant them better knowledge down on Earth.

As the crowd calms down, the Chancellor appears from behind the councilor who fails to notice his company.

"But beyond a day's success, we found something that seemed impossible on the ground-peace." He continues. "The dreams of our forefathers and our very own, now we can make it happen, for we are home." A genuine smile flashes across his face. One would see how much hope he holds for the future of their people. His faith in humanity unfaltering, and the crowd shares his spirit.

When he notices Abby standing behind him, he acknowledges her. The Chancellor, however, refuses to take the limelight. Something about her seems off. Her strong stature is gone. Could it be his words? Is she finally turning around? The councilor stares at her with all dignity.

Kane offers a cup to Abby. "To new beginnings." He says.

The Chancellor accepts the offer and lifts her cup for a toast.

"To new beginnings."

* * *

"It's a bit surreal talking about peace and actually meaning it." Bellamy speaks as he and Lincoln return to the table. Octavia turns to her brother. "I find it hard to believe that things will eventually end up this way."

They share platefuls of roasted meat and garden salad. It is not the most festive meal but the fresh part makes up for what they do not have. At least, they get to eat something that is not genetically modified or Ark-grown. The former Trikru healer carefully studies the sauce the sky people eat along with the salad. Subtly, he tries to identify the components of the said mixture as he takes a mouthful of it.

"Except that it's not the end, yet." Raven blurts. The Blake siblings turns to the mechanic before looking at each other. Raven stares blankly past Octavia who sits directly opposite to her.

Feeding her curiosity, the younger Blake leans to her brother and whispers. "What exactly is she drinking?"

"What do you mean?" Bellamy responds.

Octavia leans further, careful not to let the mechanic hear what she is saying. "She had been talking crazy since you left. Now, it looks like her mind is wandering back up at space. Are you sure it's okay for her to be out here?"

For a moment, Bellamy thinks of his and Raven's conversation earlier. The mechanic had the same expression; contemplative and uneasy. Perhaps, it is the result of what happened in the past few days, or it could be her medications. Everyone knows what the mechanic endured just to survive. The ground had been mean to Raven, and it is probably taking it's toll on her.

Or so he hopes.

"Yeah, it's probably the tech hooch." That earns a glare from the younger Blake.

When the children settled on Earth, they celebrated with a booze by no other than their technical genius. Surprisingly, Monty has another talent, and he is able to brew such drink despite being on Earth for days.

"We will take over." The mechanic continues her cryptic remarks.

"Yeah, we sure will, Raven." Octavia rides on, still not taking her glare off Bellamy. He shrugs and turns to his dinner.

"It that really a good idea?" She asks no one in particular. "I mean, I don't give a damn about the grounders. They can all burn for all I care. But for some reason, it doesn't feel right..." She blankly glances at Octavia who plays along with her. "Don't you wonder what Clarke will say? Or what she'll do about it?" And as if enlightenment finally falls upon her, Raven's eyes dart to Bellamy. "That's right! We need to find Clarke. She's the only one who could stop her mom."

Bellamy almost choke on the meat he is chewing, while the younger Blake has her eyebrows crease. The former Trikru healer glances at his company. Before anyone could react to the mechanic's words, however, someone breaks the momentum.

"There you are, love."

In the middle of the mechanic's monologue, the engineer walks over to their table. There is a trace of agitation on his face upon hearing his girlfriend. This is what scares him-Raven talking to her friends. While they may be courageous heroes, they are also young and rebellious. The two of them have their strict orders, and a slip of tongue is one thing they cannot afford. Instead of panicking, the engineer puts on his usual comic nerd vibe on and hopes to turn the topic away.

"No wonder I couldn't find you inside." He kisses her temple as his eyes turn to the guard who merely shrugs.

Raven ignores the engineer and keeps her eyes locked on Bellamy. "We need to find Clarke. She's-I need her. I need to-"

"Ha! I always thought that there's something going on between the two of you." Wick exclaims. "But don't get me wrong, I am not complaining." Octavia rolls her eyes in disgust.

Obviously irritated, the mechanic glares at the engineer. "Stop it, Kyle. What are you even doing here?"

"I could ask the same to you, sweetheart." He returns the question. Wick stares at Raven as if reminding her of the Chancellor's words. Within minutes, the seemingly drunk mechanic suddenly turns sober. She purses her lips and avoids her friends watching their exchange. "Come on in before Jackson sees you missing another doze of morphine."

Raven obliges, leaving the table without another word. It is the engineer who bids goodbye to the Blake siblings and Lincoln on the mechanic's behalf. After they left, no one in the table speaks. Octavia catches one last glimpse of the couple before turning to Lincoln. The older Blake, on the other hand, stares blankly into nowhere. His mind still lingers on something that he could not really make sense of. The subtle hints in Raven and Wick's conversation could be pretty much about anything. Then again, there was Raven and her nonsensical talk about needing Clarke at this time of peace-that's besides the fact that the mechanic was never drunk to begin with.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better never than late, is my motto. But for Clexa, I am willing to break out of my comfort zone.
> 
> All the love to those who followed and favorited this story. Kisses to those who left reviews.
> 
> Don't worry, guys. It's not over yet.
> 
> (7.11.2016)   
> DISCONTINUED. My sincerest apologies.


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